The buyer’s market



News Headline: “Democrats funded by billionaires complain about Republicans funded by billionaires.”
And who says bipartisanship is dead?

News Headline: “Candidate passes kidney stone during campaign debate.”
So at least one politician now understands how voters feel.

News Headline: “How negativity can make you happier.”
Not likely.

News Item: “Editors at the American Scholar magazine have chosen their 10 favorite sentences from fiction and nonfiction works. . . .”
And inexplicably left out this from Raymond Chandler:
“It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick out a stain-glassed window.”
OK. So it’s not quite exactly a sentence.
So try this:
“She gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket.”
Raymond Chandler was a compelling writer.

News Headline: “Shots fired at Ukrainian air force base in Crimea blocked by Russians.”
Maybe it’s best to stick with diplomacy if bullets bounce off them.

News Headline: “Does welfare make people lazy?”
News Headline: “Is homework making your child sick?”
News Headline: “Is the Internet making politics more dysfunctional?”
News Headline: “Can fear of cancer keep college kids from binge drinking?”
No, no, yes, no.
See how easy?

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: “. . . suffered a spinal-chord injury. . . .”
News Item: “. . . and cut the baby’s umbilical chord. . . .”
B.P., a Chicago reader, says all we need is a good drummer, and we can make some real music.

Continue Reading

Merrily we roll along

Russian Threat
News Headline:
“Obama says he’s more worried about the possibility of ‘nuclear bomb going off in Manhattan’ than Russian threat.”
This being what passes for a reassurance these days.

News Headline: “Launch of secret spy satellite delayed.”
The U.S. National Reconnaissance Office may want to revisit the concept of “secret.”

News Headline: “Five percent of people have checked Facebook during sex, says survey.”
Status: Out of a Relationship.

The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators:
A 9-year-old girl who, with her parents’ permission, shaved her head in support of a friend who had lost her hair to childhood cancer was suspended by Caprock Academy in Colorado because her shaved head was in violation of the school’s “detailed dress code policy.”

News Headline: “Montgomery County carjacking linked to airline disappearance in Asia.”
Nice try, headline writer.

News Headline: “Naked man tells police he’s making tree ‘his home’ after climbing 40 feet up.”
As reasonable response as any to the news of the day.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Headline: “Resistance is futile: The AP will now accept ‘over’ as a synonym for ‘more than.’ ”
Sorry, Associated Press.
QT used to love you, but it’s all more than now.


Looking for a way to support QT?
This can be
done here

QT appears Monday, Wednesday and Friday


Continue Reading

When we don’t have a prayer


News Headline:
“Bill Maher on Noah: God was a ‘psychotic mass murderer.’ ”
Let’s not go overboard here.
Considering the Old Testament, more like a case of narcissistic sociopathy.

News Headline: “Collapse of civilization is coming–NASA study.”
Not a study to worry us.
Hey. It’s not as if we’re dealing with rocket scientists here.

News Headline: “Congressman estimates ‘5 or 10’ members of Congress smoke weed.”
News Headline: “House GOP holds 51st anti-Obamacare vote.”
Figure the weed-smokers are Democrats.
Republicans seem to prefer crystal meth.

C.T., a Chicago reader, writes:
“A week ago last Friday you told us that as far as asteroids were concerned, ‘nothing is coming near us this weekend.’ Then you added, ‘that we know of.’  Then on Friday you told us Asteroid 2014 EX24 came between Earth and the moon that weekend only to be discovered three days later. Then you told us nothing was coming near us this weekend ‘that we know of.’ Well? Did anything come near us this weekend?”
Not that we know of.

News Headline: “Suicide bomber misfires while parking, kills only himself.”
What kind of times do we live in?
Hope you enjoyed Today’s Chuckle.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
M.B., a Chicago reader, having seen an Internet posting that referred to itself as the start of a “collective constructive exchange,” wants to know when chain letters became collective constructive exchanges, and when can we have chain letters back?
Good question.
Pass it on.

This can be done here

Write to QT at

QT appears Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Continue Reading

I love it when you talk cosmic

We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
The TV science series “Cosmos ” is rated PG, in part for “suggestive dialogue.”

News Headline: “Climate change talkathon: Democratic senators pull all-nighter.”
Bringing new formality and protocols to everybody talking about the weather, but nobody doing anything about it.

News Headline: “The CIA torture cover-up.”
Note to anywhere else in the world:
Maybe sometimes it’s best to avert your eyes from the Shining City Upon a Hill.

News Headline: “Quinn, looking to fall, names campaign manager.”
Joe Mitzenmacher, a River Forest, Ill., reader, wonders why the candidate doesn’t look for a manager who will keep him upright.

Sarah Palin on geopolitics and foreign relations:
“Mr. President, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.”
QT thought of paraphrasing here.
But it didn’t want to oversimplify.

Today’s Birthdays: Jesse “Lone Cat” Fuller, 118; Tony “Two-Ton” Galento, 103; Sammy “Sammy Bull” Gravano, 69;  Rich “Svengoolie” Koz, 62.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
W.S., a Chicago reader, writes:
“Now that you’ve sorted out ‘disinterested’ and ‘uninterested,’ what about ‘unbelievable’ and ‘incredible’? The two words have the same definition but these days ‘unbelievable’ seems to mean ‘not believable’ while ‘incredible’ seems to mean ‘really good.’ How does this happen?”
These usages differ from place to place.
For example, in the cloisters of the University of Chicago you will sometimes hear students saying, “Wow! Incogitable!”
Or maybe you won’t.


This can be
done here

Write to QT at

QT appears Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Continue Reading

The dangers that lurk

Wayne LaPierre of the National Rifle Association describing the world around us:
“There are terrorists and home invaders and drug cartels and car-jackers and knock-out gamers and rapers, haters, campus killers, airport killers, shopping mall killers, road-rage
killers. . . .”
. . . for those keeping track of key pockets of NRA support.

News Headline: “Arizona lawmaker: ‘I’m gay, Latino and a state senator.’ ”
Hats off to him.
It can take courage for a man to announce he’s an Arizona state senator.

News Headline: “It’s time to increase the size of the House.”
You mean we’d have more of them?

News Item: “For the second day in a row, a space rock is going to zip close by Earth within the orbit of the moon. . . .”
That would be Asteroid 2014 EC, which was discovered Wednesday and came close  Thursday.
It followed Asteroid 2014 DX110, which was discovered Monday and came close  Wednesday.
Which isn’t to mention Asteroid 2014 EF, which was discovered hours before it came close  Thursday, just behind 2014 EC.
But rest easy.
Nothing is coming near us this weekend.
That we know of.

Dave Carr, an Owen Sound, Ontario, reader, regarding QT’s complaint about the headline “”Ukraine’s currency plunge nothing more than ‘Crimea River,’ ” writes:
“Shouldn’t it be ‘Crimea Hryvnia?’ ”
Stop it.
Stop it now.

News Headline: “Boston Public Schools recall free condoms after complaints about suggestive wrappers.”
A good catch.
Now Boston’s teenagers won’t be tempted to think about sex.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Headline: “Five facts about Daylight Savings Time.”
S.O., a Washington D.C. reader, wants you to know that one of the five facts is that it’s not Daylight Savings Time, but Daylight Saving Time.


This can be
done here

Write to QT at

QT appears Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Continue Reading