QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

News Headline: “Trump attacks everyone but Russia.”
When cornered, a dog offers a low growl.
Donald Trump makes tweeting sounds.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

News Headline: “A President’s Day without a real president.”
Except that it’s Presidents Day.
The headline is otherwise correct. 

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

QT Latest Carjacker Who Didn’t Know How to Work a Stick Shift Worldwide Pinpoint Locator

Thursday, February 8, at Arizona Avenue and Ray Road in Chandler, Ariz.

Second Amendment solutions in the news

News Headline:
“Trump orders flags at half-staff after school shooting.”
Tell you what.
Let’s leave our flags at half-staff, pending the next school shooting.
More efficient.

QT Valentine’s Day 2018 update

News Headline: “Porn star ‘Stormy Daniels’ believes she is now free to talk.”
Note to news editors:
It is not news that Donald Trump may have had an affair with a porn star shortly after Melania Trump gave birth to baby son Barron.
It would be news if he didn’t.

Tender moments

Men are expected  to spend a third more than women spend this year on Valentine’s Day–an average of $63 compared to $46, a survey found.
QT renews its Valentine advice for men wooing women:
When the gifts have been exchanged, the man should lean gently forward.
He should look into the woman’s eyes.
Then he should whisper:
“You owe me $17.”
She’ll laugh.
She really will.

QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) update

The U.S. Geological Survey has done a special study of Yellowstone’s Norris Geyser Basin, where the ground had been rising for two years and then “abrupty switched to subsidence” in December before starting to rise again.
The deformations are now described as a “hiccup.”
No word on when to expect a sneeze.

. . . born every minute

News Headline: “3 Trump properties posted 144 openings for seasonal jobs. Only one went to a US worker.”
Question for Trump voters:
Are you starting to catch on?
Even a little?

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Beware the ides of National Bake for Family Fun Month.

Day 389, America held hostage

News Headline: “Trump renews bid to eliminate library funding.”
Because of course he does.