And one more thing. . . .

Happy (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) Thanksgiving!

From the QT Archive of Knowledge

+ Women were not invited to the first Thanksgiving.
+ A group of turkeys is a gang of turkeys.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Turkeys in the news

Rush Limbaugh regarding the message of Thanksgiving:
“The true story of Thanksgiving is how socialism failed. With all the–”
Oh, be quiet.
And while we’re at it, the annual reminder:
+ The thing above the turkey’s beak is a the snood.
+ The thing below the beak is the wattle.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Making a list, checking it twice

News Headline: “Which stores will be open on Thanksgiving?”
Stores that will be open for business on Thanksgiving this year include Best Buy, Dick’s Sporting Goods, J. C. Penney, Kohl’s, Kmart, Macy’s, Old Navy, Target and Wal-Mart.
For those making their annual list of stores to avoid for all holiday shopping.
Happy Thanksgiving!

International crime families in the news

News Headline:Trump says no punishment for Saudi prince over journalist’s murder: ‘Maybe he did and maybe he didn’t.’ ”
News Headline: “Trump hugs Saudis, calls world ‘a very dangerous place.’ ”
How true.
The world has its dangers.
Somebody doesn’t play ball.
Somebody gets hurt.
Sometimes very badly.
Leave the Declaration of Human Rights.
Take the cannoli.

We have seen the present, and it does not work

Lecturers at Leeds Trinity University in Britain have been told to avoid using the word “don’t” in instructions because negativity can cause anxiety in more sensitive students.

The magic of the free marketplace in the news

News Headline: “Pfizer to raise prices on 41 drugs in January.”
Here is the difference between Big Pharma and a drug pusher hanging out on a stoop:
Big Pharma has a marketing budget.

Frontiers of science

News Headline: “It’s now cheaper to build a new windfarm than to keep a coal plant running.”
For those interested in the most important news story this week that no one is paying attention to.

Special offer

News Headline: “Bankrupt Sears wants to give executives $19 million in bonuses.”
QT renews its offer:
Put QT in charge of your corporation.
QT will singlehandedly push it into bankruptcy in six months, guaranteed.
And it will ask a bonus of only $1 million.
Why are there no takers?

This just in. . . .

News Headline: “Florida man strips naked, eats noodles and plays bongos at restaurant.”
K.W., a Denver reader, finds this as reasonable a response as any to the news of the day.