News Headline: “Want to seem smart? Add a middle initial to your name.”
Justin D. Bieber. Paris W. Hilton, Sarah L. Palin. . . .
OK. So it doesn’t always work.
News Headline: “Anti-gay marriage GOP candidate explains his past as a drag queen.”
No need to explain.
We know the Republicans are rebranding.
South Dakota Republican U.S. Senate candidate Annette Bosworth in an Internet posting:
“THE FOOD STAMP PROGRAM IS ADMINISTERED BY THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE. THEY PROUDLY REPORT THAT THEY DISTRIBUTE FREE MEALS AND FOOD STAMPS TO OVER 46 MILLION PEOPLE ON AN ANNUAL BASIS. MEANWHILE, THE NATIONAL PARK SERVICE, RUN BY THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE, ASKS US, ‘PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.’ THEIR STATED REASON FOR THIS BEING THAT ‘THE ANIMALS WILL GROW DEPENDENT ON THE HANDOUTS, AND THEY WILL NEVER LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES. THAT CONCLUDES TODAY’S LESSON. . . .”
. . . . as corporate supporters nodded knowingly, and went back to their troughs.
The U.S. Geological Survey announced this week that a major ground deformation at Yellowstone “abruptly changed direction” on April 6, following the largest earthquake there in 34 years.
But geologists said it was no reason for concern.
So that’s a relief, isn’t it?
News Item: “. . . didn’t prove to the jury’s satisfaction that she was in eminent danger. . . .”
C.M., a Chicago reader, figures the hazards didn’t seem distinguished enough.
And is it time for QT’s biennial reminder that pictures are hung and condemned prisoners are hanged?
WRITE TO QT: email@example.com
News Headline: “What your car says about you.”
Behind your back, evidently.
Matthew Walker, 19, who will campaign this year for his father, Wisconsin Gov. Scott
Walker (R), explaining to a reporter where he is on the political spectrum:
“Somewhere between Chris Christie and Rand Paul.”
This young politician has a decision to make.
He can’t remain “somewhere between.”
He will have to choose at some point between shiftiness and asininity.
News Headline: “UCLA rejects $3M gift from Donald Sterling for kidney research.”
Note to those with kidney diseases who wait and hope for research breakthroughs:
UCLA couldn’t miss the chance to speak out loudly about its “core values” of “diversity” and “inclusion.”
And when are the lives of the sick too high a price to pay for that?
News Headline: “Shares of Twitter dropped in trading Wednesday to their lowest point since the company went public in November. Investor concern remains over”
Sorry. Ran out of characters.
News Headline: “21 wonderful words for wind.”
News Headline: “What if you piled every human on Earth into the Grand Canyon?”
When reporters have time on their hands. . . .