QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

News Headline: “Sox can’t work second straight miracle.”
R.B., an Omaha, Neb., reader, writes:
” I understand that the word ‘miracle’ is almost irresistible to headline writers, but perhaps it should be limited to stories about religious belief rather than stories about reality.”
You are right.
The word should be limited to such stories as the discovery of an image of Jesus on a pancake in Norco, Calif.
Not only was the discovery made on Good Friday
The pancake was shaped like Mickey Mouse.
You can’t explain that.

WRITE TO QT:  zaysmith.qt@gmail.com

Continue Reading

The Second Amendment? Well, there are limits

Governor's MansionNews Headline: “Georgia governor signs bill allowing guns in bars, libraries and churches.”
A call was placed.
“Georgia governor’s mansion.”
Will visitors on public tours of the governor’s mansion be allowed to carry guns?
“I’ll have to check.”
A while was waited.
More calls were placed.
Still waiting.
This much is known:
The Georgia State Capitol, where the lawmakers work, will not allow the public inside with guns.
Must be an oversight.

Continue Reading

As long as we’re on the subject

60606 Cover

News Item: “. . .  he still struggles with the concept of shameless self-promotion. . . .”
QT knows how he feels.
It is struggling even now, as it points out that its new e-book novel 60606, which has been called suspenseful and  “funny as hell,” can still be purchased AT THIS HANDY LOCATION.
And that this may be your last chance to set your own price.
Or maybe not.

Continue Reading

Tea Party cattle call

Clive Bundy

News Item: “Cliven Bundy’s fight with the Bureau of Land Management. . . . battle cry is the U.S. Constitution and liberty. . . . armed standoff ended. . . . Bundy has refused to pay grazing fees, which federal officials now say total about $1 million. . . ”
This is the trick to being a deadbeat these days:
Say you’re a libertarian.

Continue Reading