Today’s Birthdays: William Shakespeare, 450; Wrigley Field, 100.
Or as the first might have said of the second:
O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful wonderful, and yet again wonderful and after that, out of all whooping!
News Headline: “4th-grader tries to sell marijuana in northern Colorado.”
They grow up so fast, don’t they?
News Headline: “Sox can’t work second straight miracle.”
R.B., an Omaha, Neb., reader, writes:
” I understand that the word ‘miracle’ is almost irresistible to headline writers, but perhaps it should be limited to stories about religious belief rather than stories about reality.”
You are right.
The word should be limited to such stories as the discovery of an image of Jesus on a pancake in Norco, Calif.
Not only was the discovery made on Good Friday
The pancake was shaped like Mickey Mouse.
You can’t explain that.
WRITE TO QT: email@example.com
News Headline: “Georgia governor signs bill allowing guns in bars, libraries and churches.”
A call was placed.
“Georgia governor’s mansion.”
Will visitors on public tours of the governor’s mansion be allowed to carry guns?
“I’ll have to check.”
A while was waited.
More calls were placed.
This much is known:
The Georgia State Capitol, where the lawmakers work, will not allow the public inside with guns.
Must be an oversight.
The pay of fast-food CEOs has quadrupled since 2000 while the pay of fast-food workers has declined slightly, with the CEOs now paid an average of 1,000 times what the workers are paid.
News Item: “. . . he still struggles with the concept of shameless self-promotion. . . .”
QT knows how he feels.
It is struggling even now, as it points out that its new e-book novel 60606, which has been called suspenseful and “funny as hell,” can still be purchased AT THIS HANDY LOCATION.
And that this may be your last chance to set your own price.
Or maybe not.
News Item: “Cliven Bundy’s fight with the Bureau of Land Management. . . . battle cry is the U.S. Constitution and liberty. . . . armed standoff ended. . . . Bundy has refused to pay grazing fees, which federal officials now say total about $1 million. . . ”
This is the trick to being a deadbeat these days:
Say you’re a libertarian.
Almost half the people you see on the street do not accept that Earth is more than 4 billion years old.