News Headline: “GOP Science Committee chair begins hearing by saying scientific climate change consensus has been ‘debunked.’ ”
Keeping in mind that nine members of the House Science Committee belong to the House Prayer Caucus, which has been known to pray for rain.
News Headline: “Secret Service has new software that detects sarcasm on the Internet.”
Still working on subtle irony.
News Headine: “The partying life is tough! Paris Hilton recharges her batteries heading to healing center after Cannes Film Festival.”
Can it be 2,538 days since Paris Hilton announced she was leaving public life?
Not that anyone is counting.
News Headline: “More Americans trust Fox News.”
News Headline: “Man orders penis enlarger, gets magnifying glass instead.”
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.
Scientists report that the magma beneath Yellowstone is “potentially more stable” than previously thought.
But it “remains unclear” how this might be affected by “lateral variations in porosity, permeability, temperature and rheology.”
Which isn’t to mention that the entire area has risen nearly an inch since the start of the year.
So we won’t mention it.
News Headline: “Los Angeles sues JPMorgan over ‘predatory loans.’ ”
Keeping mind that corporations are people, too.
And some people are muggers.
News Headline: “Students place goat on school roof.”
News Headline: “Students release hundreds of crickets in school.”
News Headline: “Ann Arbor students list their high school for sale on Craigslist.”
News Headline: “Why does ‘terrible’ mean bad and ‘terrific’ mean good?”
News Headline: “Why don’t octopuses get stuck to themselves?”
Sometimes, when the news slows down, reporters get to thinking. . . .
News Headline: “Cheney calls Obama the ‘weakest’ president of his lifetime.”
For some reason, QT just now thought of Calvin Trillin’s reminder that dodgers of military risk who are eager to send others to war shouldn’t be called chicken hawks:
“A chicken hawk, which exists in nature, is a hawk that preys on chickens, not a hawk that acts like a chicken.”
Trillin suggests sissy hawks.
QT just thought of that, for some reason.
News Headline: “GOP seizes upon Veterans Affairs scandal in new attacks against Democrats.”
News Headline: “Democratic senators push Shinseki under the bus.”
News Headline: “Obama accepts VA secretary’s resignation.”
That was a tough few weeks, but things are finally settling down.
And now we can go back to bipartisan neglect.