News Item: “Wal-Mart Stores Inc. replaced its U.S. head Bill Simon . . . year of sluggish sales. . . will receive a severance package of about $4.5 million. . . .”
QT renews its offer:
Put QT in charge of your corporation.
QT will run it into the ground in only six months, guaranteed.
And it will charge only $1 million.
Why are there no takers?
Jim Gilchrist, a founder of the Minuteman Project, on plans to stop illegal immigration at the Mexican border:
“If you are familiar with the Normandy invasion of France in 1944, then you have an idea how large and logistically complicated this event will be.”
So we should be prepared to see at least five divisions of soldiers and artillery behind thousands of fortifications and mines against 150,000 immigrants and refugee children in 4,000 landing craft supported by 1,200 warships.
Not to mention thousands of airborne immigrants parachuting behind our lines.
Summer tourists may want to avoid Texas for a while.
There have been no reports of a man biting a dog, but researchers now report that elephants have a better sense of smell than dogs, which suggests that the War on Drugs might be enlivened considerably with teams of drug-sniffing elephants.
This is the 20th dog day of summer.
There are 20 dog days to go.
A woman in West Frankfort. Ill, stole a dress from a local store and liked it so much she modeled it on Facebook, police said.
News Item: “. . . Nearly a quarter of all those polled revealed that they agree with the assertion that Obama is not an American citizen. . . .”
Always try to look on the bright side.
Three out of four people you see on the street aren’t nitwits.
News Headline: “Friend says Hillary was ‘an enthusiastic pot user’ in her youth.”
Or put it another way:
Have you ever known a pot user who wasn’t enthusiastic?
News Headline: “Minimum wage must not be allowed to obstruct job creation.”
News Headline: “Job growth picks up in states that raised minimum wage.”
A note to those who like to say it’s Economics 101 that higher wages kill jobs:
Have you thought of signing up for Economics 102?
News Headline: “California drought will only get worse, experts say.”
Good luck to all those having trouble.
And let’s forget those years when the Western states enjoyed referring to the Midwest and Northeast as the “Rust Belt.”
Or as we call these regions now:
The Water Belt.
News Item: “Mississippi state Sen. Chris McDaniel (R) said the Republican Party should be ‘purged’ of people who paint their fellow members as racists. . . . ”
The Republican Party won’t survive with a lot of members who can’t keep a secret.
News Headline: “Suddenly, the sun is eerily quiet: Where did all the sunspots go?”
Not to worry.
Solar physicist Tony Phillips has been quick to reassure us that “solar physicists really don’t know what the heck is happening on the sun.”