QT Rules of Etiquette for Guys and Dolls

News Headline: “It’s only October and these people already have their Christmas
lights up.”
As today is Emily Post’s 145th birthday, is it a good time for an etiquette reminder that no Christmas decorations should go up until the day after Thanksgiving?
And that all decorations should come down 12 days after Christmas?
Ho! Ho! Ho!

From the QT news ticker

News Headline:
“Why are all the conservative loudmouths Irish-American?”
Sometimes a headline writer just snaps.

In keeping with the season, a few books written by ghosts

News Headline: “5 books that are creepy enough to scare a thriller author.”
OK. Let’s see.
1.  The Art of the Deal by Donald J. Trump
2.  How to Get Rich by Donald J. Trump
3.  Surviving at the Top by Donald J. Trump
4.  The America We Deserve by Donald J. Trump
5.  How to Make America Great Again by Donald J. Trump
And no one can hear you scream.

QT news you can use

QT sunspot and solar wind update:
24 and 1,256,499 mph.
Plan accordingly.

Frontiers of science

News Headline:
“The universe shouldn’t exist, CERN physicists conclude.”
Don’t worry.
The universe isn’t everything.

This just in. . . .

News Headline:
“Police: Man found naked in tree.”
As reasonable a response as any to the news of the day.

Russian assets in the news

News Headline: “The story of the week is Trump, Russia and the FBI. The rest is a distraction.”
The headline is from February.
But name a week this year it couldn’t have run.

QT 2018 vote count countdown update

News Headline: “Democrats’ early money haul stuns GOP.”
Not to worry.
The Russians surely have a plan.

From the QT Archive of Knowledge

+ Wisconsin drivers ran over 18 bald eagles in 1999.
+ Stars scream when they fall into black holes.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

News Headline: “Winston Churchill’s grandson calls Trump a ‘daft twerp.’ ” 
We leave it to the British to find a more refined way to say  “f–king moron.” 
Or we can go to the French and “crétin fini.”
Or. . . .

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