Let’s try another round

Colliding Galaxies

News Headline: “A violent, complex scene of colliding galaxy clusters.”
Or put it another way:
Did the Intelligent Designer create the universe as a video game?

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

Human Life Center

News Item: “. . . The mall is expected to be demolished and redeveloped into an open-air ‘human life center’ with one big box anchor tenant and a number of smaller stores. . . .”
L.S., a Chicago reader, wants to know when outdoor shopping centers became open-air human life centers, and when can we have outdoor shopping centers back?

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

The case for the separation of church and everything


Four in 10 Americans believe God created Earth 10,000 years ago.

Tools don’t kill people. . . .

Tools of Trade

A National Rifle Association commentary this week charged that when the news media use the word “shooting” to describe shootings, it is a “trick” of “propaganda” to make people think of  the “tool” used in shootings.
Seven people were tooled to death and 23 wounded by tools in Chicago last weekend, as an example.

Presidential politics

President Obama

News Headline: “Dick Cheney: Obama very weak.”
News Headline: “Sarah Palin: Barack Obama is lazy.”
News Headline: “Rush Limbaugh compares Obama to Hitler, Stalin and Castro.”
Fair enough.
All part of the rough-and-tumble of politics.
News Headline: “Poll: Americans find Obama less competent than Bush.”
OK. Now we’re in the gutter.

V will get you X

Washington Redskins v Atlanta Falcons

News Headline: “NFL to ditch Roman numerals for Super Bowl 50.”
J.C., a Tucson, Ariz., reader, writes:
“Does this mean no more Roman numeral jokes from QT?”
No. The NFL will avoid Roman numerals IV I year only.
As long as we’re on the subject, there were CCXVII NFL concussions in the season and postseason leading up to Super Bowl XLVIII.
What is the NFL doing about it?
Needless to say, II little, II lVIII.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

Think of it as bipartisanship

President Obama

News Headline: “Obama defends sweeping surveillance efforts.”
News Headline: “Obama skirts laws with ‘signing statements.’ ”
News Headline: “Obama: U.S. troops to stay in Afghanistan after this year.”
News Headline: “Why are no Wall Street executives in jail?”
The Tea Party misreads current events.
President Obama is not a secret Muslim.
He’s a secret Republican.

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Today’s Birthdays: George III, 276; Apple II, 37.

Lest we forget that the Dark Ages were a faith-based initiative

Storm Cell

News Headline: “GOP Science Committee chair begins hearing by saying scientific climate change consensus has been ‘debunked.’ ”
Keeping in mind that nine members of the House Science Committee belong to the House Prayer Caucus, which has been known to pray for rain.

From the annals of the Federal Bureau of Police Squad

Secret Service Sarcasm

News Headline: “Secret Service has new software that detects sarcasm on the Internet.”
Still working on subtle irony.