QT Summer Travel Advisory

Des Moines, IaForty days remain until the World Pork Expo in Des Moines, Ia.
More than 20,000 visitors are expected at  the “world’s largest pork-specific event.”

The case for zero tolerance of modern school administrators

Valedictorian

Parkway High School in Bossier City, La.,  has named 13 valedictorians.
A call was placed.
“Parkway High School.”
It says in the newspaper you’ve named 13 valedictorians. How many salutatorians?
“Let me check.”
A while was waited.
“One.”
Thank you.
“You’re welcome.”
Figure all the rest are just honor students.

QT Early Warning System

Sales of gun silencers have risen 37 percent in the past year.

A case of bipartisanship

Capitol Hill

Paul Shubin, a Montreal reader, regarding QT’s noting that House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi somewhat failed in her promise to “drain the swamp” in Congress during her time as House speaker, writes:
“It’s sometimes difficult to remember your priority is to drain a swamp when you are up to your ass in alligators.”
A good point.
Both parties in Congress deserve credit here.
It takes ingenuity and dedication to make a swamp on a hill.

WRITE TO QT:  zaysmith.qt@gmail.com

What was the rancher thinking?

News Headline: “Cliven Bundy wonders if blacks were ‘better off as slaves.’ ”
News Headline: “GOP scrambles to condemn rancher’s remarks on race.”
The rancher was asking for it.
Not subtle enough.

Meanwhile, in California. . . .

News Headline: “LA man dances naked on his Tesla in the middle of traffic.”
As reasonable a response as any to the news of the day.

Talking the walk

News Headline: “Donald Trump complains Obama’s walk is ‘unpresidential.’ ”
Anyone who wants to see Donald Trump walking can do so here.
Always better his walking than talking.

To bunt, or not to bunt

Globe TheatreWrigley Field

 

Today’s Birthdays: William Shakespeare, 450; Wrigley Field, 100.
Or as the first might have said of the second:
O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful wonderful, and yet again wonderful and after that, out of all whooping!

This just in. . . .

News Headline: “4th-grader tries to sell marijuana in northern Colorado.”
They grow up so fast, don’t they?

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

News Headline: “Sox can’t work second straight miracle.”
R.B., an Omaha, Neb., reader, writes:
” I understand that the word ‘miracle’ is almost irresistible to headline writers, but perhaps it should be limited to stories about religious belief rather than stories about reality.”
You are right.
The word should be limited to such stories as the discovery of an image of Jesus on a pancake in Norco, Calif.
Not only was the discovery made on Good Friday
The pancake was shaped like Mickey Mouse.
You can’t explain that.

WRITE TO QT:  zaysmith.qt@gmail.com