Greetings and facilitations

Guns and Bullets

News Headline: “60 shot, 11 killed in Chicago 4th of July weekend shootings.”
Happy Independence Day from the National Rifle Association!

Coming soon to a flooded subway near you

Sharknado 2

News Headline: ” ‘Sharknado 2’ sneak peek.”
Twenty-three days to go.
Not that QT is counting.
News Headline: “Woolly mammoth to be cloned, then joined with elephant DNA to create new
creature.”
And can “DNApocalypse!” be far behind?

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Declaration of Independcance

On this day in 1776,  the Continental Congress voted for indepe–
Wait. That was July 2.
On this day in 1776, two days after voting for independence, the Continental Congress met for the formal signing of the Decla–
Wait. Only John Hancock, the president of Congress, and Charles Thompson, the secretary, signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4.
The entire Continental Congress didn’t sign it until August 2.
And Thomas McKean of Delaware didn’t sign it until 1781.
Happy Fourth of July!

A few words for the Fourth of July

Louis L'Amour

News Headline: “Americans worry for future of U.S.”
The headline above was published nearly a half century ago.
Headlines like that go all the way back, in fact.
Or as the late Louis L’Amour, writer of frontier novels, once told QT:
“We Americans love to view things with alarm. But if you look back, you see that life was always hard. It was never easy. And we got through it all, and we’ll get through this, too.”
A few words to remember as we set off the fireworks on the Fourth of July.

QT Guide to Fourth of July Fireworks (Giving Us All a Chance to Seem Surprisingly Knowledgeable to Our Friends at the Fireworks Show)

Fireowrks

Chrysanthemums. Stars that burst from a central core .
Diadems. Ejected strips or disks that flicker brightly as they fall.
Hummers. Small tubes that spin and create a humming or screaming sound.
Turbillons. Ignited shells that spin like a top when they rise.
Strobes. Clusters of flashing, silvery lights that appear to float slowly the ground.
Salutes. The big booms that end most shows.
Now all you have to do is lean over at some point during the show and say:
“Wow. Wasn’t that a hummer?”

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

We the People

It was a year ago that M.C., a Chicago reader, notified QT that there were 200,000
Google hits for “4th of July celabration.”
QT can update this.
There are now 298,000 Google hits for “4th of July celabration.”
Happy Independance Day, in any event!

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

QT Worldwide Man-Bites-Dog Pinpoint Locator

Buddy Resting

There have been no reports of a man biting a dog in the past week.
But a bobcat bit a dog last weekend in Calgary, Alberta.
The dog was not seriously injured.
Today is the first dog day of summer.
There are 39 dog days to go.

This just in. . . .

Newsroom

News Headline: “Hillary Duff’s ex-husband ignored by Jonah Hill during LA outing.”
Further reports, as developments warrant.

QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) update

Seismometer

Yellowstone  recorded more than 1,000 earthquakes in the first half of the year, according to the U.S. Geological Survey, with seismic activity doubling in the past month.
But the area remains otherwise quiet.
Too quiet.

Why, not since. . . .

Civil Rights Act

 

Mitch McConnell

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) this week regarding United States legislative history:
“Obamacare is the single worst piece of legislation to pass in the last 50 years.”
McConnell said it as we prepared to mark the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
Wait. a minute.
QT knows what you are thinking.
Heavens to Betsy, what a dreadful thing to think.