You have the right to remain silent. . . .

Police State
News Headline:
“Rep. John Lewis: Obama should declare martial law in Ferguson.”
As we reach the point where we need to declare martial law to stop the martial law.

Any moment now. . . .

James Sarafin
News Item: “Arizona State offensive lineman Edward Sarafin has told a local magazine he is gay, making him the first active Division I football player to come out. . . The 6-foot-6,
320-pound lineman. . . . ”
OK, all you tough, righteous anti-gay activists out there.
We’re waiting for one of you to step up to Mr. Sarafin and give him a stern lecture.
We’re waiting. . . .

Dog days of summer plus 3


News Headline:
“Dog elected mayor in Minnesota.”
R.T., a Milwaukee reader, writes:
“After Toronto’s mayor, we can hope this one stays on the waggin.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.


Today’s Chuckle

Jonathan Saenz
News Headline: “Texas anti-gay lobbyist’s wife left him to be with a woman.”
Sometimes life is fair.

Innocent expression of gratitude will arrive
between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m.


News Headline: “Comcast: It’s ‘insulting’ to think there’s anything shady about us paying $110,000 to honor an FCC commissioner.”
Exactly so.
Heavens to Betsy, what a dreadful thing to think.

Nothing to worry about here

Obama, fellow senators, visit U.S. forces in Iraq
News Headline: “Obama to send 130 additional military advisers to Iraq.”
Fine. A few additional advisers never hurts.
And we can expect regular progress reports from Gen. Westmoreland.

This way to the egress

El Rushbo
News Headline:
“Rush Limbaugh: Robin Williams killed himself due to ‘leftist world view.’ ”
How does a man such as this maintain any following at all?
Sometimes we forget:
There’s a dittohead born every minute.

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Beware the ides of National Water Quality Month.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

T.B., a Chicago reader, writes;
“I was watching the PGA Championship and noticed that one of the commentators liked to used the word ‘err.’ I noticed it because he mispronounced it at least a half-dozen times. As you have said, ‘err’ should rhyme with ‘sir,’ not ‘air.’ ”
Pronunciations evidently weren’t the man’s forte.
Which rhymes with “sort.”
Just as “dour” rhymes with “your.”
And “sheik” rhymes with “cake.”
And as far as these pronunciations are concerned, QT will continue to inveigle.
Which rhymes with “eagle.”
Which brings us back to golf.
So these things do work out.


Location, location, location

Bank Vault
News Headline: “Wall Street criminals are still a protected class.”
News Headline: “Police nab bank robbery suspect.”
When will these suspects learn?
For a bank robbery to work, the bank has to do the robbing.