Will there be an end to the buttocks shootings?

Man Shot
News Headline: “Bayonne man shot in buttocks in Jersey City.”
News Headline: “Man shot in buttocks in Des Moines barber shop parking lot.”
News Headline: “Two men shot in buttocks in separate incidents in Baltimore.”
News Headline: “Tulsa man shot in buttocks.”
R.S., a Chicago reader, writes:
“I hear police are stumped by this crime wave and are reduced to playing a few haunches.”
This just in: A man was shot in the buttocks yesterday as he was walking down a highway near Lilburn, Ga.
And thereby hangs a tail.
QT will stop it now.

Which covers presidential security between the
hours of 1 p.m. and 4 p.m.

Comcast
News Headline: “New Secret Service head comes from Comcast.”
And there is your chilling thought for today.

But you can believe everything else he says

Sean Hannity
News Item: “Fox News hosts Sean Hannity and Dana Perino are giving speeches ‘sponsored by’ major fracking companies while pushing for fracking on Fox. . . .”
Has it been 1,989 days since Sean Hannity promised he would undergo waterboarding to show it isn’t torture?
Not that anyone is counting.

We have seen the present, and it does not work

Vegan Food
A  Seattle vegan food company has been ordered by Canada to stop distribution there because its products haven’t been tested on animals.

Oh, the places you’ll go!

Pigeon Face

News Headline: “China performs cavity searches on 10,000 pigeons ahead of National Day event.”
Your day may not be going well, but at least you aren’t a Chinese pigeon-cavity inspector.

Buttocks shootings in the news

Man Shot
News Headline: “Bayonne man shot in buttocks in Jersey City.”
News Headline:  “Man shot in buttocks in Des Moines barber shop parking lot.”
News Headline: “Two men shot in buttocks in separate incidents in Baltimore.”
News Headline: “Tulsa man shot in buttocks.”
+ Dan Skowron, a Romeoville, Ill., reader, writes:
“Regarding all the recent incidents of people being shot in the buttocks, in hindsight we should have seen it coming.”
+ Robert S. Gold, a Key West, Fla., reader, writes:
“I’d like to see someone get to the bottom this–put the whole thing in our rear-view mirror.”
+ K.R., a Baltimore reader, writes:
“It does seem a painful subject.  Or am I arguing a posteriori?”
Stop it.
Stop it now.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

We’ll always have Paris

Paris Hilton
News Headline: “Paris Hilton takes selfies wearing bondage-style lingerie.”
Can it be 2,658 days since Paris Hilton announced she was leaving public life?
Not that anyone is counting.

The fate of the world and related matters

Washington State v Washington
News Headline: “Washington State coach Mike Leach predicts the extinction of humankind.”
Always give a wide berth to a coach with a 2-3 start.

Buttocks shootings in the news

Man Shot
News Headline: “Bayonne man shot in buttocks in Jersey City.”
News Headline: “Man shot in buttocks in Des Moines barber shop parking lot.”
News Headline: “Two men shot in buttocks in separate incidents in Baltimore.”
News Headline: “Tulsa man shot in buttocks.”
Dave Carr, an Owen Sound, Ontario, reader, writes:
“When will we put these shootings behind us? What deep-seated problems do these shooters have? I could go on. . . .”
Stop it.
Stop it now.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

QT 2014 vote count countdown update

Political Hypocrisy
News Headline: “Letter: Republicans engage in ‘egregious hypocrisy.’ ”
News Headline: “Letter: Hypocrisy is astounding among Democrats.”
If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.