Bank on it

Wall Street

News Headline: “Los Angeles sues JPMorgan over ‘predatory loans.’ ”
Keeping mind that corporations are people, too.
And some people are muggers.

When May and June arrive

Graduation Ceremony

News Headline: “Students place goat on school roof.”
News Headline: “Students release hundreds of crickets in school.”
News Headline: “Ann Arbor students list their high school for sale on Craigslist.”
Happy Graduation!

Just a few clouds on the horizon

Air Pollution

Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.) on why we should be taking steps to slow climate change:
“Human activity, which has produced greenhouse gases, is affecting this planet’s environment. Suppose I am wrong and there is no climate change going on. All we do is give our kids a cleaner planet.”
Then again, what do we expect from a lefty lib–
No. Wait.
Those are the words of Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.)
Sorry.

Only 34 days till the dog days of summer

News Headline: “Why does ‘terrible’ mean bad and ‘terrific’ mean good?”
News Headline: “Why don’t octopuses get stuck to themselves?”
Sometimes, when the news slows down, reporters get to thinking. . . .

Duty, Honor, Country, not

Dick Cheney

News Headline: “Cheney calls Obama the ‘weakest’ president of his lifetime.”
For some reason, QT just now thought of Calvin Trillin’s reminder that dodgers of military risk who are eager to send others to war shouldn’t be called chicken hawks:
“A chicken hawk, which exists in nature, is a hawk that preys on chickens, not a hawk that acts like a chicken.”
Trillin suggests sissy hawks.
QT just thought of that, for some reason.

All aboard

News Headline: “GOP seizes upon Veterans Affairs scandal in new attacks against Democrats.”
News Headline: “Democratic senators push Shinseki under the bus.”
News Headline: “Obama accepts VA secretary’s resignation.”
That was a tough few weeks, but things are finally settling down.
And now we can go back to bipartisan neglect.

The case for zero tolerance of modern school administrators

High school graduates throwing their mortarboards in the air

Dublin Jerome High School in Dublin, Ohio, has named 72 valedictorians.
We can stop now.
The commencements have commenced.
Happy graduation, valedictorians!
And to the scattering of high school seniors who aren’t!

We have seen the present, and it does not work

A white student and a black student overheard joking briefly about racism during a party  at Lewis & Clark College were investigated by administrators and informed it was necessary to “correct your behavior” with “bias reduction and bystander intervention training,” and can it be only 28 days until George Orwell’s 111th birthday?

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

President Obama in a statement about Iraq and Afghanistan:
“When I took office, we had nearly 180,000 troops in harm’s way. By the end of this year, we will have less than 10,000.”
R.S., a Chicago reader, wants to remind the president that “few ” is for quantities that can be counted and “less” is for quantities that can’t be counted.
Which becomes  more complicated when referring to soldiers and sailors who have become veterans in need of medical care.
At which point they no longer seem to count.
More or less.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

These things happen

Rush Limbaugh

News Headline: “CNN pulls doomsday story about asteroid on collision course with Earth.”
All a mistake.
Unlike Asteroid 2014 KC45, which was discovered yesterday shortly after it passed within 50,000 miles of us.
But it was a smallish asteroid, and if it had hit, say, Palm Beach, Fla., it would have caused a crater no larger than Rush Limbaugh’s estate and beachfront.
So there is something to be said for asteroids.