Sympathy and trust abounding. . . .

Terrorists

News Headline: “House panel approves massive Pentagon spending bill.”
News Headline: “Terrorists team up in Syria to build next generation of bombs.”
No one said the dawning of the Age of Aquarius didn’t need a little tweaking.

Testing, one, two, three. . . .

Donald TrumpNews Headline: “Quantum mechanism triggers emission of tunable light at terahertz levels.”
News Headline: “Donald Trump defiant on Obama birth certificate, won’t rule out 2016 bid.”
As we continue to explore the wide range of human intelligence.

It had to happen

Hillary Clinton

News Headline: “Hillary Clinton moves toward her inevitable candidacy.”
News Headline: “Hillary Clinton and the trouble with inevitability.”
News Headline: “5 reasons Hillary Clinton won’t run in 2016.”
Those whom the media would destroy, they first make inevitable.

Dittoheads know better

Polar Bear

News Headline: “National Geographic has to radically redraw parts of its atlas because of Arctic ice loss.”
Are we really supposed to believe National Geographic about the “science” of climate change?
Sounds more like a way to sell us atlases.
And aren’t these the same people who promote the round-Earth theory so they can sell us globes?

On to the Sweet Sixteen?

FIFA

News Item: “. . . Team USA will progress if they lose by one and Ghana win by one, but the United States keep their goals-scored tally higher than Ghana (i.e., Team USA lose 1-2; Ghana win 1-0). Team USA progress if Ghana win 1-0, the United States lose 1-0. Both end on goal difference of zero, so goals scored would apply—but again the teams are tied. Team USA progress on account of a better head-to-head result. Team USA go out on goal difference if Ghana win by more than one and the United States lose by one (or more) or if Ghana win by one and Team USA lose by more than one. . . .”
Sorry, soccer.
Nice try.
But you’ll never be as complicated as baseball.

Ban me some peanuts and Cracker Jack. . . .

Dyche Stadium
News Headline: “Northwestern expands peanut-free stadium idea to first three games of 2014.”
J.S., an Evanston, Ill., reader, writes:
“It is a new world where you can’t take peanuts to the ballpark.”
Despite the lack of a single report in the medical literature of allergic reactions in anyone merely in the vicinity of peanuts in an unenclosed place.
Which isn’t to mention the Massachusetts school that evacuated a bus full of 10-year-olds because someone saw a peanut on the floor.
A new world needs a new motto:
Better wildly overcautious than sorry.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

Become a Friend of  QT at Medi.ci

Never more than a few feet away. . . .

Fish Spider

News Headline: “Fish-eating spiders found on six continents.”
QT News You Can Use:
It is Antarctica you will want to move to.
Well. Except for the giant sea spiders there.

And then there was the surge. . . .

Raccoon Strategy

News Headline:  “Raccoon with jar stuck on its head gets stuck at top of pole.”
For those trying to recall the original strategy behind the Iraq invasion and war.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

Wanton Soup

News Item: “. . . . wanton soup as a starter. . . .”
Some meals you sit down to at your own risk.
K.D., a Chicago reader, while we’re at it, reminds us that there is no such person as a restauranteur.
But there are many restaurateurs.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

Become a Friend of  QT at Medi.ci

If it blocks like a duck

Duck StampedeCongress
News Headline: “GOP could go after another shutdown over new EPA rules.”
News Headline: “Watch a stampede of ducks block traffic.”
The wonders of nature are many and varied.