From Poor QT’s Almanack

As the weekend nears:
Beware the ides of International Gay Square Dance Month.

Meanwhile, in homeroom. . . .

Teacher Shoots
News Headline: “Will arming teachers make schools safer?”
News Headline: “Teacher hurt when gun accidentally shatters toilet.”
Asked and answered.

Apologies to Uncle Fester?

Rush LimbaughUncle Fester

J.C., a Tucson, Ariz., reader, regarding Rush Limbaugh’s repeated comparing of Secretary of State John Kerry to Lurch–and QT’s noting that perhaps we should expect better behavior from Uncle Fester–writes:
“From Jackie Coogan’s biography: Coogan enlisted in the U.S. Army in 1941 and trained as a glider pilot, later volunteering for hazardous duty with the 1st Air Commando Group. At one point he flew British troops at night 100 miles behind Japanese lines during the Burma campaign. Behind Uncle Fester’s smile were memories of wartime duty and bravery. Behind Rush Limbaugh’s smile are greed, hate and dishonesty.”
QT never claimed it was a complete resemblance.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

Our friend, the sun

Our Friend the Sun
News Headline: “Sun unleashes major solar flare at Earth.”
News Headline: “Check out this animation of the sun destroying Earth.”
It’s OK.
Not this time, either.

And your salt intake is disgraceful

Albert Einstein
News Headline: “Chicago Park District expands smoking ban to parks, harbors.”
Not even outdoors.
Not even alone, away from everyone, under a tree or at a boat at its mooring.
As we hear from the Chicago chapter of the National Association of People Who Have Found a Socially Acceptable Way to Push Other People Around.

Why AM radio is dying, part 37


Rush LimbaughUncle Fester
Rush Limbaugh regarding current U.S. foreign policy:
“We’ve got Lurch, John Kerry. I just learned–”
Making fun of someone’s physical characteristics is a cheap thing to do.
And someone should mention this to Uncle Fester.

Try to remember two days in September

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
News Headline:
“We must never forget lessons of 9/11.”
A reminder of another day’s lessons to remember:
The day was two weeks later.
It was  9/25.
It was on that day in Los Angeles that the story was reported of a German surgeon in a Jewish hospital performing a kidney transplant from a white Muslim woman to a black Christian man.
We can do worse than remember the lessons of 9/25, also.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

Mountain Lion
News Headline: “Boy attacked by mountain lion released from hospital.”
And why the hospital released a mountain lion, we may never know.
News Headline: “Road rage leads police to murder victim’s boyfriend.”
And would the lion attack even have happened if police weren’t so busy murdering a victim’s boyfriend?
We may never know.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

Modern education + the criminal mind =

A Massachusetts woman whose license plates were revoked decided to avoid arrest by installing hand-drawn cardboard plates on her car, police said.

The House is back in session

House GOP
News Headline: “Amid Ebola’s spread, one rule reigns ‘Don’t touch.’ ”
News Headline: “House Republicans slash funding that would help fight Ebola.”
A note to anyone hit by Ebola in the future:
Always remember that our House Republicans work hard at what they do.
And deserve a big hug.