News Headine: “Stupidity isn’t Trump’s worst trait.”
As we continue to investigate the difference between intelligence and cunning.

News Headline: “Man sets fire to toilet paper in casino, starts throwing punches.”
K.W., a Denver reader, suggests this is as reasonable a response as any to the news of the day.

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News Headline: “Trump reportedly wants his signature on aid checks.”
Still no mention of signing the death certificates, too.

News Headline: “Trump is playing chess with Congress and the Constitution.”
Well.
More like Chutes and Ladders.
Or maybe Candy Land.
But these are the times we live in.

News Headline: “Trump talks himself up as ‘wartime president’ to lead America through a crisis.”
News Headline: “DOJ wants to suspend certain constiutional rights during COVID-19 emergency.”
Wag the virus. . . .

News Headline: “Study demonstrates gapless ground state in an archetypal quantum kagome.”
Tell us something we don’t know.

News Headline: “Americans should not have to choose between their health and a democracy.”
No.
Donald Trump can do better than that.
He is perfectly capable of avoiding both.

News Headline: “Last of Dow’s gains during Trump presidency disappear.”
So it’s almost as if Donald Trump never happened.
Stay with that thought.

News Headline: “Cow that has evaded police since January ‘faster than it looks.’ ”
. . . announced a police spokesman, very quietly.

News Headline: “Alabama pastor invites people infected with coronavirus into church for ‘faith healing.’ ”
So the trick is to find a few jails.
And help a few pastors shelter in place.