GovernMania MMXVIII


News Headline: “Congress stumbles toward second shutdown.”
News Headline: “Congress lurches toward midnight shutdown.”
News Headline: “Congress hurtles toward shutdown.”
Getting there is half the fun.

QT 2018 vote count countdown update


News Headline: “Russians penetrated U.S. voting systems, top U.S. official says.”
Is there any dependable countermeasure to stop Russia’s high-tech hackers?
Seems not.
Except for. . . except for maybe. . . .
PAPER BALLOTS!
For Pete’s sake.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language


News Item: “. . . to exercise their demons. . . .”
News Item: “. . . exercising their demons. . . .”
A reminder that there are some health clubs you will want to avoid.
And Jerry Wiecek, a Chicago reader, asks:
When did store clerks become “guest experience specialists,” and when can we have store clerks back?
And when did good ideas become “strategic initiatives,” and when can we have good ideas back?
And. . . .

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

The shining город upon a hill


Republican campaign strategist Steve Schmidt regarding Fox News:
“The network is increasingly engaged in a misinformation campaign aimed directly at the American people for the purposes of sowing confusion and spinning a web of protective armor around the president, who is being investigated.”
Good as far as it goes.
But the word is “disinformation.”
From the Russian дезинформация (“dezinformatsiya”).
As coined by Joseph Stalin–for the title of a Soviet KGB propaganda technique.
Now back to planning that big parade. . . .

We have seen the present, and it does not work


The military doctrine of “no first use of nuclear weapons” takes the acronym NOFUN.

QT newth you can uthe


The Welth goverment hath announthed a ban on tongue pierthing for anyone under 18.
Officialth thited a Britith thtudy thowing that tongue pierthing can cauth permanent damage to teeth and gumth.
Tho conthider yourthelf warned.

Dr. QT’s Baby and Child Care

News Headline: ‘Trump wants a grand military parade ‘like the one in France.’ ”
How to avoid this?
Maybe if  we showed him that big truck again. . . .
Maybe if we let him pretend to drive it again. . . .
Sometimes the trick is distraction. . . .

With CCCLXIII days to go until Super Bowl LIII

News Headline: “Several Eagle players are already refusing to celebrate Super Bowl win with Trump.”
Fake news. Rigged count. So-called football players. Highly overrated team. Big losers.
And when, oh when,  does spring training start?

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update


News Headline: “Trump claims ‘total vindication’ after FBI memo released.”
Add total vindication to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.
News Headline: “Trump: ‘I wouldn’t say I’m a feminist.’ ”
But understatement is alive and well.

QT Planetary Defense Coordination Office

 

Asteroid 2018 CB and Asteroid 2018 CC were discovered today.
One will pass between Earth and the moon tomorrow.
The other will pass between Earth and the moon in three days.
There. That took your mind off President Trump’s stock market, didn’t it?
It didn’t?
OK. So Fox News will have to try something else.