On this day in history 1,063 years ago, Otto I defeated the Obotrite Federation at the Battle of  Recknitz, which seemed important at the time.

News Headline: “Trump, no longer ratings gold, loses his prime-time spot on Fox News.”
News Headline: “Donald Trump takes ratings nosedive in ’60 Minutes’ interview.”
Lest we forget:
Donald Trump is not a political leader with supporters.
He is a TV star with fans.
And sooner or later, fans start checking channels to see what else is on.

News Headline: “Painting of Trump having a Diet Coke with Abraham Lincoln is now hanging in the White House.”
Or can we still go one better?
You may recall that QT commissioned a painting of Trump by Tim Patch, better known as Pricasso, the Australian artist known for painting with his penis.
It now hangs in QT’s office.
Forget Lincoln and the Diet Coke.
Go with the Pricasso.
The medium being the message.

News Headline: “Pakistani martial artist cracks 243 walnuts with his head.”
And then starts chanting “Lock her up! Lock her up!”

Beware the ides of National Dryer Vent Safety Awareness Month.

News Headline: “Now for rent: Email addresses and phone numbers for millions of Trump supporters.”
A number of Nigerian princes have already expressed interest.

M.S.B., a Chicago reader, writes:
“I’ve been seeing ‘snuck’ used as past tense of ‘sneak’ in a number of publications that ought to know better,  Has ‘sneaked’ fallen out of fashion among the educated?”
You have caused QT to do research.
And after visiting its books, QT can report:
“Snuck” seems to have sneaked into accepted usage.
QT’s dictionaries have mostly given up on calling it nonstandard, although the Oxford still insists on “informal,” which means not quite OK.
So that seems to be that.
But wait.
We have not consulted the QT Abridged Too Far Dictionary of the English Language.
And the incorrect usage “snuck” has not sneaked in here.
QT will admit to being inflexible on this point.
But QT must be true to itself in matters of grammar and usage.
As Sammy Davis Jr. used to sing:
“I’ve Gotta Be I.”

News Headline: “Leonardo DiCaprio overcome with disgust on yacht.”
Or would you rather read another story about Donald Trump?

News Headline: “Trump’s stunned silence as Kanye rants in White House.”
Hmmm.
Donald Trump stunned into silence. . . .
Kanye, don’t be a stranger.
Come back often.
Tell you what.
Just hang out there for the next 831 days, will you?

News Headline: “Fact-check: Trump op-ed has a falsehood in nearly every sentence.”
OK. Who was it?
The president wants to know.
Who let sentences without any falsehoods through?