News Headline: “Wait, what?”
So now we have a standing headline for the White House beat.

News Headline: “Plant species have been disappearing 500 times faster than normal.”
For those interested in the most important news story this week that no one is paying attention to.

History is declining more rapidly than any other major at U.S. colleges.

Beware the ides of National Rebuild Your Life Month.

News Headline: “Trump says he’d listen if foreign adversaries offered damaging information on 2020 rivals.”
Well. OK.
As long as it’s not collusion.

News Headline: “Did time have a beginning?
Slow news day.

News Headline: “Trump administration signals support for uranium mining that could touch Grand Canyon.”
All right.
But only if we leave room for an oil pipeline down the middle.

News Headline: “Trump on Nixon: ‘He left. I don’t leave.’ ”
News Headline: “Is it possible to make an invisibility cloak?”
In answer to your question:
He looks to be about a 48 long.

News Headline: “Up to 25 cups of coffee a day safe for heart health, study finds.”
News Headline: “Marijuana-friendly cities see uptick in property values: study.”
Keep up the good work, researchers!

News Headline: “Mick Mulvaney fires all 25 members of consumer watchdog’s advisory board.”
Wasn’t cops-and-robbers was more fun before the robbers took over?