Category Archives: Uncategorized

Day 495, America held hostage


News Headline: “Trump’s not a liar. He’s a madman.”
A reminder:
There is always multi-tasking.

From the QT police blotter


News Headline:
“A man is in jail after assaulting another man with a watermelon.”
It happened in a seedy part of town.
QT will stop now.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

In other news. . . .


News Headline: ” ‘Roseanne’ reboot holds a mirror to America.”
There are bookshelves with books in Roseanne’s TV living room.
Must be a mirror to somewhere else.

Day 433, America held hostage


News Headline: “Why is Trump so quiet?”
One explanation:
He has finally said everything that could possibly be said about anything.
At least twice.

From the QT Archive of Knowledge

+ There were 10,329 vegans in Slovenia in 2008.
+ Iran is four times the size of Iraq.

From the QT Archive of Knowledge

+ Dr. Seuss intended his name to rhyme with “choice.”
+ James Madison’s last words were: “I always talk better lying down.”

From the QT Archive of Knowledge

+ Male honeybees explode after mating.
+ Rush Limbaugh’s bathroom has a bidet.

Worst of breed


News Headline: “For China’s ‘Year of the Dog,’ mall erects giant Trump dog statue.”
Even though the man isn’t White House-trained.
And barks and howls for no apparent reason.
And sheds blame everywhere you look.
Which isn’t to mention the tiny paws. . . .

This just in. . . .


News Headline:
“Terror threat at sex robot expo.”
Or think of it this way:
Name a news headline that better sums up the times we live in.

From the QT Archive of Knowledge

+ The second longest word in Shakespeare is “anthropophaginian.”
+ Iran is four times the size of Iraq.