Category Archives: Uncategorized

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

Chicago SnowRich Rzadski, a Chicago reader, writes:
“Just heard a TV weatherperson tell all that ‘the snow continues to end.’ She didn’t say how anything can ‘continue to end.’ ”
QT could go on and on about that.
But QT is otherwise occupied.
National Grammar Day is tomorrow.
And does that mean it’s almost time for QT’s annual reminder that to say “from whence” is to say “from from where”?
Evidently.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Battle of Falkoeping
On this day in history 627 years ago, the Danes defeated the Swedes at the Battle of Falkoeping, which seemed important at the time.

This just in. . . .

Cruz Fast
News Headline: “Glenn Beck: ‘Join me’ in fasting for Cruz and country.”
To the supporters of Ted Cruz:
You should stop eating until you hear from us again.
Don’t worry.
We’ll get back to you.

QT Man-Bites-Dog Worldwide Pinpoint Locator

Man Bites Dog
There have been no reports of a man biting a dog.
But a police officer bit a dog walker in Oviedo, Spain.

In other news. . . .

Donald Trump
Donald Trump in a “CBS This Morning” interview regarding Kim Jong Un:
“Any young guy who can take over from his father with all those–”
Wait a minute.
So that’s it.
A young guy with funny hair is handed the empire of his father and goes on to
horrify a nation. . . .
Donald Trump is the Kim Jong Un of American politics.

QT New Year’s news you can use

New Year's
A reminder to those who are out of work–or know others who are–while the merriment happens all around:
The outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas will offer free job-search and career advice to anyone who calls from anywhere today and tomorrow, December 28 and 29.
The number is (312) 422-5010.
The hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. CST.
And always remember:
There are Twelve Days of Christmas.
And a New Year after that.

Ho, Ho, Ho!

Santy Clause
Who hides in a bakery at Christmastime?
A mince spy.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
That should do it until QT returns next week.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
Only one thing left to say:
Merry (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) Christmas!

QT Christmas news you can use

Christmas Hotline
A word to those who are out of work–or know others who are–while the merriment happens all around:
The outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas will offer free job-search and career advice to anyone who calls from anywhere on December 28 and 29.
The number is (312) 422-5010.
The hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. CST.
And always remember:
There are Twelve Days of Christmas.
And a New Year after that.

EXCLUSIVE: QT has commissioned a portrait of Donald Trump by the artist Pricasso, who is famous for painting with his penis, which seems about right for our politics these days

Donald Trump
QT some weeks ago watched a TV network news story on Tim Patch, better known as Pricasso, the Australian artist who paints with his penis.
QT had just finished watching a speech by Donald Trump.
One thought led to another.
QT reached Pricasso in Australia and commissioned a special portrait.
It has arrived.
QT here unveils it.
And now all seems right with the world.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

QT digest of the first Democratic presidential debate transcript (for your convenience)

Democratic Debate
“. . . [Cheering]. . .  [Applause]. . . [Applause]. . . [Cheering]. . . [Applause]. . . . [Laughter]. . . [Applause]. . . [Laughter]. . . [Applause]. . . .”
We must be having more fun than we thought.