Category Archives: Uncategorized

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Today’s Birthdays:
Henry VII, 562; Clement IX, 319; Mustafa III, 202; Super Bowl XXIV, 29.

And Ukraine is paying for it

News Headline: “Russia completes wall on Ukraine-Crimea border.”
Donald Trump tries.
Vladimir Putin succeeds.

Ho, Ho, Ho!

Who hides in a bakery at Christmastime?
A mince spy.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
That should do it until QT returns later this week.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
Only one thing left to say:
Merry (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) Christmas!

And yet another thing. . . .

Gregg Ess, a Westmont, Ill., reader, regarding QT’s wondering when did sleet became a “wintry mix,” and when can we have sleet back, writes:
“Boy, won’t it throw a monkey wrench into your lexicon when you learn what graupel is!”
Thank you.
But QT has only this to say:
Soft hail and farewell.
Ho, Ho, Ho!


Still playing catch-up

News Headline: “Egypt: At least 19 human rights activists arrested in new crackdown.”
As Donald Trump looks on longingly.

Setting the record straight

News Headline: “Man accused of groping woman on plane: Trump ‘says it’s OK.’ ”
In related news, a White House spokesman said President Trump has withdrawn his endorsement of stop-and-frisk.
It was all a terrible mix-up, the spokesman said.
Trump thought he was being asked about stalk-and-grab.

In other news. . . .

News Item:
“. . . have decried the decline of comity in Congress. . . .”
A reminder:
When you see the word “comity” in a news story about Congress, replace it with “comedy.”
You will never go wrong.
News Item: “. . . achieve full legislative parity in Congress. . . .”
And the other thing:
When you see the word “parity,” replace it with “parody.”

More news from the people who study things

News Headline: “Tylenol can ‘ward off existential dread of death and nothingness.’ ”
Yes. But will it upset QT’s stomach?

From the QT police blotter

News Headline: “Man arrested with 800 pounds of stolen lemons.”
Police are seeking persimmons of interest.


The Party of Lincoln 2.0 in the news

+ Steve West, Republican nominee for
Missouri state representative:
“Hitler was right about what was taking place in Germany. And who was behind it.”
+ John Fitzgerald, Republican congressional nominee in California:
“Everything we’ve been told about the Holocaust is a lie.”
+ Arthur Jones, Republican congressional nominee in Illinois:
“Nazi ideology is the ideology of the average American white person, but they don’t know it.”
So this is where the Republicans seem headed:
The moderates are the ones in the sheets.