Category Archives: Uncategorized

In other news. . . .


News Item:
“. . . have decried the decline of comity in Congress. . . .”
A reminder:
When you see the word “comity” in a news story about Congress, replace it with “comedy.”
You will never go wrong.
News Item: “. . . achieve full legislative parity in Congress. . . .”
And the other thing:
When you see the word “parity,” replace it with “parody.”

More news from the people who study things


News Headline: “Tylenol can ‘ward off existential dread of death and nothingness.’ ”
Yes. But will it upset QT’s stomach?

From the QT police blotter


News Headline: “Man arrested with 800 pounds of stolen lemons.”
Police are seeking persimmons of interest.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

The Party of Lincoln 2.0 in the news


+ Steve West, Republican nominee for
Missouri state representative:
“Hitler was right about what was taking place in Germany. And who was behind it.”
+ John Fitzgerald, Republican congressional nominee in California:
“Everything we’ve been told about the Holocaust is a lie.”
+ Arthur Jones, Republican congressional nominee in Illinois:
“Nazi ideology is the ideology of the average American white person, but they don’t know it.”
So this is where the Republicans seem headed:
The moderates are the ones in the sheets.

QT 2018 vote count countdown update


News Headline: “Youth voter registration skyrockets across the country after Parkland High School massacre.”
Youth registration is up 2.16 percent.
Add skyrocketing to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.

Modern education + the criminal mind =

A man in Thibodaux, La., called 911 to ask if there were any warrants out against him and was told there were no warrants but he was now charged with unlawful use of an emergency phone system.

None dare call it treeson


News Headline:
“Trump’s prepared statement had ‘no colusion’ scrawled on the side.”
Kids, go get grandpa and ask him what it was like when presidents could spell the crimes they committed.

We have seen the present, and it does not work


The Welsh town of Chepstow has celebrated declaring itself plastic-free by hanging a large plastic banner at a town entrance.

Day 495, America held hostage


News Headline: “Trump’s not a liar. He’s a madman.”
A reminder:
There is always multi-tasking.

From the QT police blotter


News Headline:
“A man is in jail after assaulting another man with a watermelon.”
It happened in a seedy part of town.
QT will stop now.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com