From the QT police blotter

+ Kevin Smith, an East Dundee, Ill., reader reader, regarding QT’s report that in response to a theft of hair from a Tennessee beauty salon, police were combing the area, writes:
“Do you think the salon should change its locks?”
+ R.S., a Chicago reader, writes:
“Cut!”
Consider it done.
Just waiting for someone to ask.

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Very fine people in the news

News Headline: “Analyst: Trump re-raising U.S. flags on Aug. 8 ‘very significant to the neo-Nazi movement.’ ”
The idea is that August 8 is the eighth day of the eighth month.
And H is the eighth letter of the alphabet.
8/8, H/H, Heil/Hitler.
But it appears that Donald Trump is pleasing the neo-Nazis by accident.
For once.

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From the QT police blotter

+ Gene Christianson, an Overland Park, Kan., reader, regarding QT’s report that in response to a theft of hair from a Tennessee beauty salon, police were combing the area, writes:
“If they catch the thieves, it will be fine and dander with me.”
+ N.T., a Chicago reader, writes:
“Did the thieves steal any headgear along with the hair? If so, that would make it a hat crime.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.

WRITE TO QT:qt@zaysmith.com

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Biblical proportions in the news

News Headline: “Trump angers some Christians for ‘taking the Lord’s name in vain’ in speech.”
But the angered evangelicals still support him.
Having not read Proverbs 6:16-19:

These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren . . . 

Six out of six.
Yea, seven out of seven.

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From the QT police blotter

+ Mike Wolstein, a Chicago reader,  regarding QT’s report that in response to a theft of hair from a Tennessee beauty salon, police were combing the area, writes:
“We can expect detectives to get to the root of it.”
+ Alan Putz, a Chicago reader, writes:
“Police are looking at every strand of evidence.”
+ Stephen J. Smith, a Minneapolis reader, writes:
“At least this doesn’t involve follicular homicide.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

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