From the QT police blotter


News Headline: “Trump releases plan to privatize roads and bridges.”
News Headline: “Toll roads poised to boom under Trump plan.”
When you see the word “privatize” in the news, replace it with the word “loot.”
It gives a better sense of the story.
News Headline: “Paul Ryan says Medicare privatization is on.”
News Headline: “Trump advisors want to privatize oil-rich Indian reservations.”
Or think of it as a looting spree.

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QT Planetary Defense Coordination Office

Asteroid 2017 AZ3 was discovered three days ago.
It barely missed us two days ago, passing just outside the moon’s orbit.
Astreroid 2017 AS4 was discovered two days ago.
It barely missed us yesterday, passing just outside the moon’s orbit.
Asteroid 2017 AG13 was discovered yesterday.
It is barely missing us today, passing halfway between Earth and the moon.
Ten days remain until Donald Trump’s presidential inauguration.
Be patient.
The Intelligent Designer is doing the best he can.

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QT Early Warning System


News Headline: “Snow Mountain snow-tubing park closes because of snow.”
The nation’s current irony outbreak, which had been stalled over Trump Tower in New York City, has veered south to Georgia.
It is expected to remain there only briefly.
News Headline: “WikiLeaks retweets Donald Trump’s demand for congressional investigation into leaked intel report.”
See? Back in New York already.

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Climate change and other Chinese hoaxes in the news


News Headline: “Hottest Arctic on record triggers massive ice melt.”
News Headline: “Potential for collapse of key Atlantic current rises.”
News Headline: “Polar vortex is back and it’s going to get ugly.”
QT Abridged Too Far Dictionary of the English Language:
climatology noun 1. the study of climates and their phenomena. 2. the phenomena these days including air pollution that causes warmer arctic temperatures. 3. which are melting the ice into the sea. 4. which can weaken Atlantic currents that normally bring warmth to temperate regions. 3. which can trigger polar vortexes and potentially an Ice Age. 4. which is  the sequence of events in the the disaster movie “The Day After Tomorrow.” 5. And who knew the Intelligent Designer was a film buff?

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