News Headline: “The Ohio State University seeks to trademark ‘The.’ ”
Which makes this a good time to remember that The La Brea Tar Pits are
The The Tar Tar Pits.
And The Los Angeles Angels are The The Angels Angels.
And what about The Los Altos Hills?
Run for The The Hills Hills!
News Headline: “Two Australian pig farmers caught smuggling pig semen.”
Your day may not be going well, but at least you aren’t an accused pig-semen smuggler.
News Headline: “Rival gun groups look to fill NRA’s void.”
The NRA will be hard to replace.
News Headline: “Scientists are one step closer to an Ebola cure.”
Ebola will be hard to replace.
News Headline: “Donald Trump and the Republican Party hate America: It’s time to say it.”
No, no, no.
Donald Trump and the Republican Party do not hate America.
More like they can take it or leave it.
News Headline: “Does anything matter?”
News Headline: “We’ll be lucky to survive all this.”
Can someone do something to cheer up our headline writers?
News Headline: “Sea level rise could claim Mar-a-Lago.”
Sometimes life is fair.
News Headline: “Scaramucci: “Trump in ‘mental decline.’ ”
News Headline: “No bottom in sight.
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.
News Headline: “Israel bars two U.S. Muslim lawmakers after Donald Trump calls
A shame the lawmakers weren’t white supremacists.
Trump could have vouched for them.
News Headline: “Oak Park police nab suspected groper.”
Everywhere you look, people trying to be presidential.
CEO compensation has increased 940 percent since 1978.
Average worker pay has increased 12 percent.