Author Archives: Zay Smith

From Poor QT’s Almanack


On this day in history 205 years ago occurred the third in a series of earthquakes in the Middle West’s New Madrid Fault, changing the course of the Mississippi River and toppling chimneys as far away as Maine, but rest assured that a sixfold increase in tremors in recent years has not affected the geological estimate that there is only a 10 percent chance of any major quakes in the next 50 years, which includes any moment now.

The shining locker-room upon a hill


News Headline: “Trump deals blow to pro-abortion NGOs.”
So on top everything else, he pushes drugs.

A republic, if you can keep it


News Headline: “Trump again claims voter fraud in popular vote.”
News Headline: “Trump hits out at ‘fake news’ yet again.”
News Headline: “Trump tweets about ‘so-called judge’ again.”
Relax.
It’s not as if President Trump is working steadily to undermine public confidence in the so-called principles and institutions that are at the foundation of our entire so-called system of government.
So-called God help us.

QT trickle-on economics update


News Headline: “Biggest and most futuristic super-yacht ever built.”
News Headline: “Noah’s Ark in Kentucky must be seen to be believed.”
The billionaire’s ship is 20 feet longer than God’s.

From the QT police blotter


News Headline:
“House Republicans vote to expand gun access for the mentally impaired.”
QT Abridged Too Far Dictionary of the English Language:
depraved indifference noun 1. A legal definition of’ conduct so deficient in a moral sense of concern, so lacking in regard for the life or lives of others, as to warrant criminal liability. 2. Meanwhile, in other House GOP news. . . .

The basket of gullibles in the news


News Headline: “Donald Trump supporters call for Budweiser boycott over
immigration-themed Super Bowl ad.”

Note to Trump supporters who still haven’t caught on to the con:
Give it time.
You will soon be sadder budweiser.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

We’ve only just begun. . . .

News Headline: “Donald Trump’s wall the ‘most idiotic thing I have ever seen,’ says developer asked to build it.”
Impressive so far.
But keep in mind the presidentiial press secretary’s announcement:
“We’re looking at another productive week next week.”

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language


S.S., a Minneapolis reader, writes:

When did ‘contact’  become ‘reach out to,’ and when can we have ‘contact’  back?”
Good question.
We never used to have these tiresome phrases.
You know. Back in the day.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

QT Planetary Defense Coordination Office

News Headline: “Trump claims ‘a historic movement, the likes of which the world has never seen.’ ”
News Headline: “Donald Trump’s mental health called into question.”
Asteroid 2017 BS32 was discovered three days ago heading toward Earth.
It has now passed harmlessly between Earth and the moon.
No mercy from the Intelligent Designer.

Breaking news. . . .


News Headline: “Phil sees his shadow on Groundhog Day.”
So there will be four more years of Donald Trump.