Author Archives: Zay Smith

From the QT Archive of Knowledge

+ President Clinton sent two emails while in office.
+ A 10-gallon hat holds three quarts.

High crimes and misdemeanors in the news


News Headline: “Trump: ‘I did not make, and do not have’ Comey tapes.”
And when President Trump says it, you can take it to the bank.
As long as it’s a Russian bank.

The poor will always be with us, unless, of course, they get sick


News Headline: “Tax breaks for wealthy, Medicaid cuts for low-income in Senate health-care bill.”
News Headline: “Trump says Senate draft bill needs ‘negotiation.’ ”
Nobody knew killing off sick people to make rich people richer could be so complicated.

The shining locker-room upon a hill


News Headline: “Trump seeks sharp cuts to housing aid, except for program that brings him millions.”
The system works.

QT Summer Travel Advisory


Tourists visiting the square at Rustaveli Street in Moscow can now view a monument to Soviet-era processed cheese.

QT trickle-on economics update


News Headline: “This is how the Trump administration will privatize our infrastructure.”
When you see the word “privatize” in a headline, substitute the word “loot.”
It gives a better sense of the story.

QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) update

An “energetic sequence” of seismic activities at Yellowstone has now reached more than 430 earthquakes since June 12.
But most of the earthquakes are smallish.
And scientists reassure us that the odds against a major eruption within a year are 730,000 to 1.
In other news, a farmer in Rusper, England, is celebrating the birth of quintuplet lambs, beating odds of a million to 1.
“It’s quite unusual,” he said.

GovernMania MMXVII


News Headline: “Donald Trump’s border wall: A progress report.”
Think of the story as Today’s Chuckle.

QT Latest Carjacker Who Didn’t Know How to Work a Stick Shift Worldwide Pinpoint Locator


2:45 p.m. Monday, June 19, at the intersection of Norton Street and Holden Street in
Sydney, Australia.

Blocks, stones and less than senseless things in the news


News Headline:
 ‘Julius Caesar’ interrupted again by pro-Trump protesters.”
News Headline: “Trump supporters are now harassing random theaters that bear Shakespeare’s name.”
Don’t know much  about this Shakespeare.
But he’s not one of us.
Not even an American.
And he writes funny.