Author Archives: Zay Smith

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Beware the ides of National Car Care Month.

Investigators at the -gate

News Headline:   “ ‘It’s not too late’ to get rid of FBI Director James Comey, Trump says.”
. . .  as the feds slowly close in.

Frontiers of science

News Headline: “Drinking wine a form of exercise, study says.”
Keep up the good work, researchers!

GovernMania MMXVII

News Headline: “Goldman Sachs concludes Obamacare added 500k jobs.”

The shining locker-room upon a hill

News Headline: “If O’Reilly goes, who should replace him?”
News Headline: “Robert Bentley: Alabama governor resigns over sex scandal.”
Asked and answered.

Rabbit, run

News Headline: “Robbers can’t wait for Easter holidays.”
News Headline: “Shovel-wielding woman breaks up Easter egg hunt.”
Hippity, hoppity, Easter’s on its way.

In other news. . . .

News Headline: “Trump’s EPA lifts ban on pesticide linked to nervous-system damage in children.”
News Headline: “Trump lifts ban on hunting hibernating bears.”
The newly great America is starting to take shape.
We poison children.
We shoot sleeping animals.

Wagging the comb-over

News Headline: “People think Trump’s airstrikes in Syria are a distraction tactic.”
Heavens to Betsy, what a dreadful thing to think.
News Headline: “Three questions Trump must answer after his Syria strike.”
1. What is he hiding in his tax returns?
2. What is he hiding in his tax returns?
3. What is he hiding in his tax returns?
Lest we be distracted.

The universe in the news

News Headlinne: “An atmosphere has been detected around an Earth-like exoplanet for the first time.”
Gliese 1132b is 39 light years away.
It will be a long time before humanity might reach it.
But fair warning to the planet.

Breaking news. . . .

News Headline: “It is now illegal in Ohio for humans to have sex with animals.”
News Headline: “Bill would criminalize sex with animals in Nevada.”
News Headline: “Texas bill would make it illegal to have sex with an animal.”
Just trying to make America great again.