Author Archives: Zay Smith

With CCCLVIII days to go until Super Bowl LII

News Headline: “Three New England Patriots plan to skip White House visit.”
News Headline: “Fourth New England Patriot announces plan to skip White House visit.”
News Headline: “Five New England Patriots plan to skip White House visit.”
News Headline: “At least six New England Patriots to skip White House visit.”
Fake news. Rigged count. So-called football players. Highly overrated team. Big losers.

QT Bureau of Waits and Half-Measures

News Item: “. . . Antarctica is losing 130 billion tons of ice each year. This is the weight equivalent of  356,000 Empire State Buildings. . . .”
Or 302,395,906,024,000 cans of soda, if you are still trying to visualize it.

Frontiers of science

News Headline:
“Physicists find the multiverse faintly disturbing.”
What’s disturbing is that we get the universe with a Trump administration.

Tender moments

Men are expected  to spend nearly twice what women spend on Valentine’s Day this year–an average of $71 compared to $30, a study found.
QT renews its Valentine advice for men wooing women:
When the gifts have been exchanged, the man should lean gently forward.
He should look into the woman’s eyes.
Then he should whisper:
“You owe me $41.”
She’ll laugh.
She really will.

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Philosopher Martin Buber, who wrote, “Inscrutably involved, we live in the currents of universal reciprocity,” was born 139 years ago on the eighth day of  National Bake for Family Fun Month.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

News Headline: “Donald Trump has violated U.S. Constitution and should be impeached by Congress, two legal experts say.”
Good to have that settled.

From the QT news ticker

News Headline: “Does Trump’s travel ban make America less safe?”
News Headline: “Is Trump’s Muslim ban a gift to ISIS?”
News Headline: “Can Trump make Mexico pay for the wall?”
News Headline: “Can Trump tell the difference between truth and lies?”
Yes, yes, of course not, sometimes.
See how easy?

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

+ Bill Wade, a Chicago reader, regarding a Minneapolis reader who wondered when “”contact” became “reach out to” and asked when we could have “contact” back, writes:
“I’m recalling that ‘Reach Out and Touch Someone’ was a an advertising line for the old AT&T–and that until recently, ‘contact’ was a noun, not a verb.”
+ K.R., a Baltimore reader, writes:
“As you probably know, Rex Stout barred the use of ‘contact’ as a verb.”
QT knows.
QT will admit it has read a few dozen of Stout’s Nero Wolfe mysteries.
It was Wolfe who burned a copy of Webster’s Third International Dictionary in his fireplace because it allowed “infer” and ‘imply” to be used interchangeably.
As for his response to visitors who used “contact” as a verb:
“Contact is not a verb under this roof.”
Then Wolfe opened another beer. . . .

From Poor QT’s Almanack

On this day in history 205 years ago occurred the third in a series of earthquakes in the Middle West’s New Madrid Fault, changing the course of the Mississippi River and toppling chimneys as far away as Maine, but rest assured that a sixfold increase in tremors in recent years has not affected the geological estimate that there is only a 10 percent chance of any major quakes in the next 50 years, which includes any moment now.

The shining locker-room upon a hill

News Headline: “Trump deals blow to pro-abortion NGOs.”
So on top everything else, he pushes drugs.