Author Archives: Zay Smith

Russian assets in the news


News Headline: “Trump’s ignorance is amazing.”
News Headline: “Donald Trump Jr. is an idiot of towering proportions.”
If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.

We have seen the present, and it does not work


News Headline:
“Delta flight attendent smashes wine bottle over disruptive passenger’s head.”
So you can try base jumping.
Or free solo climbing.
Or cave diving.
Or you can just fly commercial.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update


Former National Intelligence Director James Clapper telling MSNBC that he called President Trump after Trump compared U.S. intelligence agencies to Nazis:
“I tried to appeal to his higher values.”
Which makes this Today’s Chuckle.

Asked and answered


News Headline: “EPA to cut programs that keep children safe from lead.”
News Headline: “Trump’s EPA chief lifts ban on pesticide that poisons children.”
News Headline: “Medicaid cuts would jeapordize children’s access to quality health care.”
News Headline: “My 7-year-old asked me if the president was going to hurt him.”
Yes.

QT Summer Travel Advisory


Three days remain until the 656th Turkish Oil-Wrestling Festival in Edirne.
Edirne is five miles west of Unrulu.

The shining locker-room upon a hill


News Headline: “Trump and Comey talked Russian ‘hookers’ and ‘golden shower’ scandal.”
News Headline: “Report: Trump couldn’t find a hotel room in Hamburg.”
Don’t blame the hotels.
Mattresses are expensive.

QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) update


News Headline: “5.8 magnitude quake hits Montana, raising supervolcano concerns.”
This comes after a swarm of more than 1,100 smaller earthquakes in the region..
But the U.S. Geological Survey assures us it was merely the result of “a shallow strike slip faulting along either a right-lateral, near vertical fault trending east-southeast, or on a left-lateral vertical fault striking north-northeast.”
So what could possibly go wrong?

From the QT news ticker


News Headline: “Spineless creature studied in D.C. swamp.”
This is a science story.
No. Really.
Honest.

But Russia understands, and will go easy on him


News Headline: “Is Donald Trump qualified to be president?”
News Headline: “Trump confused by 10-foot walk to limousine.”
Asked and answered.

QT Man-Bites-Dog Worldwide Pinpoint Locator


Today is the third dog day of summer.
There have been no reports of a man biting a dog.
There are 37 dog days to go.