Author Archives: Zay Smith

Smart and smarter

News Headline:  “Trump and Putin lose as Emmanuel Macron wins French presidential election.”
The French may feel free to keep looking down their noses at us.
All they want.

How a bill becomes law

News Headline: “5 things to watch as GOP health bill moves to Senate.”
1. Donations.
2, Stipends.
3. Considerations.
4. Remunerations.
5. Payoffs.
See how easy?

Greetings and facilitations from the National Rifle Association

News Headline: “NRA: ‘Expanding background checks at gun shows will not prevent the next shooting.’ ”
News Headline:Islamic State steers jihadists to U.S. gun shows for ‘easy’ access to weapons.”
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

It’s a miracle!

An image of Jesus has been discovered on a utlility pole in Laoag City, Philippines.
“Pinakaimportante ang pagsisimba,”‘ a local priest said. “Dito natin maipapakita ang paniniwala sa Diyos.”

Idle threats in the news

News Headline: “North Korea says any U.S. provocation will lead to America’s
‘final doom.’ ”

Not a concern.
We attended to that six months ago.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

News Headline:
“FBI’s Comey defends Clinton email decision, but feels ‘nauseous.’ ”
D.S., a Boston reader, writes:
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe the preferred definition of  ‘nauseous’ is ‘to cause nausea.’ And if people are feeling sick, they are ‘nauseated.’ So doesn’t this mean the FBI director’s decision was sickening?”
And now we can all go back to the day’s news.
And feel nauseated.


We’ll always have Paris

News Headline: “Paris Hilton reclaims queen of reality TV title from Kim Kardashian.”
Has it been 3,911 days since Paris Hilton announced she was leaving public life?
Not that anyone is counting.

Pre-existing emissions in the news

News Headline: House passes Obamacare repeal-and-replace bill after chaotic setbacks; Senate fight now looms.”
Nobody knew making poor people sick could be so complicated.

Your papers, please

News Headline: “Woman convicted of laughing at Jeff Sessions during hearing faces year in jail.”
Set aside the indications that President Trump and Vladimir Putin have approximately the same view of freedom of speech.
The woman made a mistake.
The Trump administration is laughable.
But not funny.

The case for zero tolerance of modern school administrators

Timber Creek High School in Orlando, Fla., has named 30 valedictorians.
And one salutatorian.