Author Archives: Zay Smith

A republic, if you can keep it

News Headline: “Trump to Kim: My nuclear button is bigger than yours.”
Did he really say that?
Yes. He did.
Did we really elect that?
Yes. We did.

Russian assets in the news

News Headline:
“Ex-Trump chief strategist Steve Bannon: Trump Tower meeting with Russians ‘treasonous.’ ”
But as Fox News will soon point out, Bannon was using the word “treasonous” in its best sense.

GovernMania MMXVIII

News Headline: “Donald Trump doesn’t understand what’s happening in Iran.”
Note to headline writers:
It’s news only if Donald Trump does understand something.

We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet. . . .

A reminder to eat black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day.
Brings good luck.
Happy (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) New Year!

QT Early Warning System

The Sub-Bureau for Rapid Service and Predictions of Earth Orientation of the International Earth Rotation Service has announced that there will be no leap second added to civil time at midnight December 31.
QT doesn’t know about you.
But it had plans for that second.

Worst of breed

News Headline: “For China’s ‘Year of the Dog,’ mall erects giant Trump dog statue.”
Even though the man isn’t White House-trained.
And barks and howls for no apparent reason.
And sheds blame everywhere you look.
Which isn’t to mention the tiny paws. . . .

The thinking on Capitol Hill. . . .

News Headline: “Texas Rep. Louis Gohmert says gay space colonies will doom humanity.”
News Headline: “Gohmert links gun control, bestiality.”
News Headline: “Gohmert wants special counsel Mueller removed, says he’s ‘dirty.’ ”
In other news: 

News Headline: “Fruit flies ‘think’ before making decisions, study shows.”

QT Planetary Defense Coordination Office

Have we really made it through December wihtout an asteroid being discovered while passing between Earth and the moon?

Well. Except for Asteroid 2017 YZ4, which was discovered this week and is passing between Earth and the moon as you read this.
Except for that one.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

News Headline: “Gallup Poll: Barack Obama edges out President Trump as
most-admired man.”
This seems to mean that Donald Trump is still among the most-admired men in
the United States.
But there must be some other explanation.

On the first days of Christmas. . . .

News Headline: “Massive brawl erupts at Christmas toy giveaway, woman arrested for pulling out knife.”
News Headline: “Santa’s helper charged after spraying NC family with mace.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!