Author Archives: Zay Smith

Toward a big, beautiful stonewall–and guess who’s paying for it

White House press secretary Sean Spicer refusing to comment on evident White House mishandling of classified documents:
“We are not as obsessed with the process as much as the substance.”
Is he saying that the end justifies the means?
Of course he is.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

News Headline:
“Trump again takes credit for jobs announcement made under Obama.”
True. President Trump takes up all the credit when he can.
But he can be generous.
Consider his handling of blame.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

News Item
“. . . what’s coming down the pike. . . .”
News Item: “. . . what’s coming down the pipe. . . .”    
Dave Carr, an Owen Sound, Ontario, reader, writes:
“This is bothering me. Can you tell if Donald Trump’s problems are ‘coming down the pike’ or ‘coming down the pipe’?’
“Coming down the pike” has been coming down the pike for a couple of hundred years.
But “pipe” has been coming down the pipe more often lately.
And speaking of roads, not to mention intersections, is it time for QT’s annual reminder that it isn’t “catty-corner” or “kitty-corner,” but “cater-corner”?


Frontiers of science

News Headline: “Scientists establish the first semen collection from saltwater crocodiles in Malaysia.”
Your day may not be going well, but at least you aren’t a Malaysian crocodile-semen collector.

The Party of Lincoln 2.0, which seeks to fool enough of the people enough of the time, in the news

News Headline: “After Trump health-care failure, Plan B suddenly more appealing for Republicans.”
Forget these days about Plan B.
It may be time for Plan 9 from Outer Space.

In other news. . . .

News Headline: “What to expect from Xi-Trump summit.”
Same as usual.
He said, Xi said.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

News Headline: “Trump’s approval rating drops to new low of 36 percent.”
News Headline: “Trump’s approval rating lower than Obama’s ever was.”
Couldn’t manage it with the popular vote, the electoral vote or the Inauguration crowds.
But he finally beat Obama at something.

This just in. . . .

News Headline: “Nine-year-old boy opens lemonade stand to pay for grandfather’s cancer treatment.”
In other news, Republicans have found their new health-care plan.

QT news you can use

T.D., a Chicago reader, writes:
“You’ve been telling us for days about zero sunspots on the sun. The other day, you said it was the 16th day in a row without sunspots. And then you say we shouldn’t be concerned. OK. I’m concerned. Are we still sunspotless?”
No.There are suddenly 12 sunspots on the sun.
But don’t give it another thought.


Breaking news. . . .

News Headline: “It is now illegal in Ohio for humans to have sex with animals.”
In other news, it was legal until now.