Author Archives: Zay Smith

QT Christmas news you can use


And can it be time for QT’s annual reminder that it isn’t “God rest ye, merry gentlemen,” but “God rest ye merry, gentlemen”?
And it isn’t “It came upon a midnight clear,” but “It came upon the midnight clear”?
Evidently.
Ho, Ho, Ho!

’Tis the season


News Headline: “New Jersey Santa Claus arrested on drug charges.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!.

And one other thing. . . .


Happy (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) Thanksgiving!

Turkeys in the news


Rush Limbaugh regarding the message of Thanksgiving:
The true story of Thanksgiving is how socialism failed. With all the–”
Oh, be quiet.
And while we’re at it, an annual reminder:
+ The thing above the turkey’s beak is a the snood.
+ The thing below the beak is the wattle.
Happy Thanksgiving!

From the QT Archive of Knowledge


+ Women were not invited to the first Thanksgiving.
+ A group of turkeys is a gang of turkeys.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Getting there is half the fun


News Headline: “Expect large crowds during Thanksgiving travel.”
And the Transportation Security Administration reminds airline passengers that they will not be allowed to carry ice picks, meat cleavers, swords, baseball bats, bows and arrows, firearms, axes, cattle prods, crowbars, saws, billy clubs, black jacks, brass knuckles, pepper spray, nunchucks, blasting caps, dynamite, plastic explosives. . . .
Happy Thanksgiving!

Suspicious loiterers in the news


News Headline: “Trump defends Alabama’s Roy Moore on partisan grounds.”
News Headline: “Alabama GOP says it stands behind Moore.”
One question before all this is done:
Is it possible to register a political party as a sex offender?

The limits of compassion


News Headline: “Trump ends humanitarian protections for Haitians.”
News Headline: “Trump pardons national Thanksgiving turkeys.”
Never hurts to be white these days.

Frontiers of political science


News Headline: “No end in sight for the Mueller investigation.”
News Headling: “The universe will end much sooner than previously thought, says study.”
So there is always a bright side.

From the QT news ticker. . . .


News Headline: “Naked man bursts into woman’s home, tries on her clothes, rolls around in yard.”
If he moves to Alabama, he might have a political future.