Author Archives: Zay Smith

Live and learn

News Headline:
“Report claims Rex Tillerson called Donald Trump a ‘f—ing moron.’ ”
News Headline: “Report: Ruper Murdoch called Trump a ‘f—ing idiot.’ ”
All right.
But which one is he?

In other news. . . .

News Headline:
“Lightning deaths hit a record low in 2017.”
So. OK.
We may have elected Donald Trump.
But we’re starting to have enough sense to come in out of the rain.
We take out good news where we can find it.

QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) update

News Headline:
“Don’t worry too much about the Yellowstone supervolcano.”
Of course not.
And that goes for all the 3,412 earthquakes recorded at Yellowstone last year.
As for Yellowstone’s Norris Geyser Basin , where the ground had been rising for two years and then “abrupty switched to subsidence” in December?
Don’t give it a second thought.

A republic, if you can keep it

News Headline: “Trump to Kim: My nuclear button is bigger than yours.”
Did he really say that?
Yes. He did.
Did we really elect that?
Yes. We did.

Russian assets in the news

News Headline:
“Ex-Trump chief strategist Steve Bannon: Trump Tower meeting with Russians ‘treasonous.’ ”
But as Fox News will soon point out, Bannon was using the word “treasonous” in its best sense.

From Poor QT’s Almanack

One day remains until Perihelion Day, for those keeping track of their periapsides and apoapsides.

GovernMania MMXVIII

News Headline: “Donald Trump doesn’t understand what’s happening in Iran.”
Note to headline writers:
It’s news only if Donald Trump does understand something.

We’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet. . . .

A reminder to eat black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day.
Brings good luck.
Happy (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) New Year!

QT Early Warning System

The Sub-Bureau for Rapid Service and Predictions of Earth Orientation of the International Earth Rotation Service has announced that there will be no leap second added to civil time at midnight December 31.
QT doesn’t know about you.
But it had plans for that second.

Worst of breed

News Headline: “For China’s ‘Year of the Dog,’ mall erects giant Trump dog statue.”
Even though the man isn’t White House-trained.
And barks and howls for no apparent reason.
And sheds blame everywhere you look.
Which isn’t to mention the tiny paws. . . .