Author Archives: Zay Smith

Investigators at the -gate


News Headline: “Dem: Trump should relsease transcripts of adviser Flynn’s Russia calls.”
News Headline: “Questions surround Team Trump’s pre-election talks with Russia.”
What did the president know, and when did he know it?

. . . born every minute


News Headline: “Poll finds Trump supporters believe Bowling Green massacre happened.”
News Headline: “Man hammers 38 nails with his head.”
The stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Beware the ides of National Boost Your Self-Esteem Month.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update


News Item:
“Donald Trump was not wearing a translation earpiece as he nodded along and appeared to listen intently to remarks from Shinzo Abe, the Japanese prime minister, at the White House on Friday. . . .”
It’s all right.
Trump speaks Japanese better than anyone else.

‘. . . and a safe-landing convenience fee of. . . .’


News Headline: “Trump shows interest in privatizing air traffic control.”
Your flight path is very important to us.
All radar representatives are currently busy.

In other news. . . .


News Headline: “Trump deals blow to pro-abortion NGOs.”
News Headline: “Appeals court deals blow to Trump.”
News Headline: “Jeff Sessions will double down on drug war.”
And he had better start with the drug epidemic in Washington D.C.

The Party of Lincoln 2.0, which hopes to fool enough of the people enough of the time, in the news


News Headline: “Republicans fast-track bill that would repeal consumer protections.”
The faster, the better.
Ivanka’s fashion line can distract for only so long.

The Not Me Decade, in which everybody else is responsible for everything, continues


A woman injured when she fell off a donkey statue in a
Florida restaurant has sued the restaurant for failing to warn her that a person who climbs up on a donkey statue  risks falling off the donkey and being injured.

With CCCLVIII days to go until Super Bowl LII


News Headline: “Three New England Patriots plan to skip White House visit.”
News Headline: “Fourth New England Patriot announces plan to skip White House visit.”
News Headline: “Five New England Patriots plan to skip White House visit.”
News Headline: “At least six New England Patriots to skip White House visit.”
Fake news. Rigged count. So-called football players. Highly overrated team. Big losers.

QT Bureau of Waits and Half-Measures


News Item: “. . . Antarctica is losing 130 billion tons of ice each year. This is the weight equivalent of  356,000 Empire State Buildings. . . .”
Or 302,395,906,024,000 cans of soda, if you are still trying to visualize it.