Author Archives: Zay Smith

How a bill becomes law

News Headline: “5 things to watch as GOP health bill moves to Senate.”
1. Donations.
2, Stipends.
3. Considerations.
4. Remunerations.
5. Payoffs.
See how easy?

Greetings and facilitations from the National Rifle Association


News Headline: “NRA: ‘Expanding background checks at gun shows will not prevent the next shooting.’ ”
News Headline:Islamic State steers jihadists to U.S. gun shows for ‘easy’ access to weapons.”
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

It’s a miracle!


An image of Jesus has been discovered on a utlility pole in Laoag City, Philippines.
“Pinakaimportante ang pagsisimba,”‘ a local priest said. “Dito natin maipapakita ang paniniwala sa Diyos.”
Exactly.

Idle threats in the news


News Headline: “North Korea says any U.S. provocation will lead to America’s
‘final doom.’ ”

Not a concern.
We attended to that six months ago.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language


News Headline:
“FBI’s Comey defends Clinton email decision, but feels ‘nauseous.’ ”
D.S., a Boston reader, writes:
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe the preferred definition of  ‘nauseous’ is ‘to cause nausea.’ And if people are feeling sick, they are ‘nauseated.’ So doesn’t this mean the FBI director’s decision was sickening?”
Yes.
And now we can all go back to the day’s news.
And feel nauseated.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com 

We’ll always have Paris


News Headline: “Paris Hilton reclaims queen of reality TV title from Kim Kardashian.”
Has it been 3,911 days since Paris Hilton announced she was leaving public life?
Not that anyone is counting.

Pre-existing emissions in the news

News Headline: House passes Obamacare repeal-and-replace bill after chaotic setbacks; Senate fight now looms.”
Nobody knew making poor people sick could be so complicated.

Your papers, please


News Headline: “Woman convicted of laughing at Jeff Sessions during hearing faces year in jail.”
Set aside the indications that President Trump and Vladimir Putin have approximately the same view of freedom of speech.
The woman made a mistake.
The Trump administration is laughable.
But not funny.

The case for zero tolerance of modern school administrators


Timber Creek High School in Orlando, Fla., has named 30 valedictorians.
And one salutatorian.

GovernMania MMXVII


News Headline: “Arizona GOP lawmaker questions why we force kids to attend school.”
As President Trump has told us:
“I love the poorly educated.”