Author Archives: Zay Smith

Modern education + the criminal mind =

An anonymous blackmailer in Dettingen, Germany, sent his personal bank account number to expedite payment, police said.

Frontiers of science


News Headline: “NASA to announce new details on mission ‘to touch the sun.’ ”
It’s OK..
We’re going at night.

A republic, if you can keep it


News Headline: “The U.S. is the most obese nation in the world, just ahead of Mexico.”
News Headline: “The world is drinking less alcohol–except Americans.”
News Headline: “Trump’s budget proposal calls for deep cuts to education.”
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, nation.

Memorial Day 2017

News Headline: “39 percent of Americans can’t name a First Amendment right.”
News Headline: “Nearly a two-thirds of Americans can’t name all three branches of government.”
About 1 million U.S. soldiers and sailors have died in warfare to protect our democracy.
We honor them.
We mourn them.
And we owe them an apology.

QT Summer Travel Advisory


+ Thirty-five days remain until Taste of Indianapolis.
+ There will be no Dry Bean Festival this year in Tracy, Calif.

Art for something’s sake


News Headline: “Where’s Trump? President’s portrait absent from federal walls.”
Which gives QT an idea.
Readers may recall that QT recently commissioned paintings of President Trump by
Tim Hatch, better known as Pricasso, the Australian artist known for painting with his penis.
QT has sent a query to Pricasso:
Would he be willing to make a donation of his Trump art in this cause?
Pricasso has responded:
Yes. I doubt he would want it. But he is hard to predicked.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.
But the problem is solved.
And maybe the Russian Embassy will want one, too.

QT Planetary Defense Coordination Office

Asteroid 2012 TC4 will pass between Earth and the moon on October 12, it was announced.
But it is a smallish asteroid.
At worst, if it hit us, it would create a crater less than a mile wide and only 1,000 feet deep, destroying everything for only a few miles in every direction.
And a NASA scientist has assured us that there is only “a one-in-a-million chance that it could hit us,” although “more observations could reduce the uncertainties.”
So relax.

Rules of the game

Today is the 98th birthday of the late Lindsey Nelson, baseball announcer
Nelson believed the English language should be spoken well, even at the old ballpark.
How well?
It was Nelson’s voice fans would hear on the radio, in the late innings, on a warm summer night:
“That’s he, swinging the bat.”
This was a man who knew how the game was play-by-played.

Trump University: Introductory Economics


News Headline: “Trump said he would save jobs at Carrier. The layoffs start July 20.”
News Headline: “Housing Secretary Ben Carson calls poverty ‘a state of mind.’ ”
Trump administration policy is clear on this:
The workers have no complaint.
All they have to do is imagine they still have jobs.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

J.D., a Chicago reader writes:
“With Republican gerrymandering back in the news, is it time for one of your reminders that the first two syllables of the word should  be pronounced GARY, not JERRY?”
Not yet.
We’ll have to wait.
But can it be time for QT’s annual reminder that it isn’t ”once more into the breach,” but ”once more unto the breach”?
Evidently.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com