Author Archives: Zay Smith

QT Summer Travel Advisory

The 2019 World Pork Expo in Des Moine, Ia., has been canceled.
Plans are to resume next year.
The expo was founded 31 years ago as the “world’s largest pork-specific event.”

A republic, if you can keep it

News Headline:Former FBI director: ‘Trump eats your soul in small bites.’ ”
News Headline: “Donald Trump has phone call with Putin, talks about ‘Russian hoax,’ says nothing about election interference.”
As for the nation’s soul:
Trump hasn’t said much about the phone call.
Bad manners to talk with your mouth full.

The case for zero tolerance of modern school administrators

Georgia College in Milledgeville, Ga., has named 14 valedictorians.
No word on how many salutatorians.

In other news. . . .

News Headline: “Sailors instructed to ‘clap like we’re at a strip club’ for Mike Pence.”
Some of Pence’s evangelicals might hear you.
And want to know the strip club’s address.

From the QT news ticker

News Headline: “Did William Barr lie to Congress?”
News Headline: “Free college?”
News Headline: “Are robots coming for your job?”
News Headline: “Is Bernie Sanders likable enough to become president?”
News Headline: “Are you a microaggressor?”
Yes, yes, yes, who wants to know, just a little.
See how easy?

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Today is Law Day.
Bend one, break one, but do something.

It’s not a wonderful year

News Headline: “Trump Fed pick said in 2016 he supported removing ‘a lot’ of child labor laws.”
News Headline: “Trump proposes asylum seekers pay a fee for their applications.”
There are 238 days until Christmas.
And each day we become a little more like Pottersville.

Day 831, America held hostage

News Headline: “Donald Trump goes on wild retweet rampage.”
Will the world ever forgive us for being so carefree with our nuclear codes?

We have seen the present, and it does not work

News Headline: “Some companies consider banning all physical contact in the workplace.”
A reminder:
This would include handshakes.
Next up in a truly enlightened society:
No eye contact allowed.

This just in. . . .

News Headline: “Donkeys hate British weather and would rather be inside, study finds.”
Are we starting to run out of things to study?