Author Archives: Zay Smith

Frontiers of science

News Headline: “Fried food may help reduce global warming: study.”
Keep up the good work, researchers!

This just in. . . .

News Headline:Trump supporters confuse LeVar Burton with LaVar Ball online.”
As the search continues  for anything that will not confuse a Trump supporter.

QT Latest Carjacker Who Didn’t Know How to Work a Stick Shift Worldwide Pinpoint Locator

Monday, November 13, on the 800 block of Sherbrook Street in Winnipeg, Manitoba.

Russian assets in the news

News Headline: “Trump ripped CNN International on same day Putin punished foreign news outlets.”
Let’s give President Trump a break.
He was only following orders.

QT Christmas news you can use

And can it be time for QT’s annual reminder that it isn’t “God rest ye, merry gentlemen,” but “God rest ye merry, gentlemen”?
And it isn’t “It came upon a midnight clear,” but “It came upon the midnight clear”?
Ho, Ho, Ho!

’Tis the season

News Headline: “New Jersey Santa Claus arrested on drug charges.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!.

And one other thing. . . .

Happy (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) Thanksgiving!

Turkeys in the news

Rush Limbaugh regarding the message of Thanksgiving:
The true story of Thanksgiving is how socialism failed. With all the–”
Oh, be quiet.
And while we’re at it, an annual reminder:
+ The thing above the turkey’s beak is a the snood.
+ The thing below the beak is the wattle.
Happy Thanksgiving!

From the QT Archive of Knowledge

+ Women were not invited to the first Thanksgiving.
+ A group of turkeys is a gang of turkeys.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Getting there is half the fun

News Headline: “Expect large crowds during Thanksgiving travel.”
And the Transportation Security Administration reminds airline passengers that they will not be allowed to carry ice picks, meat cleavers, swords, baseball bats, bows and arrows, firearms, axes, cattle prods, crowbars, saws, billy clubs, black jacks, brass knuckles, pepper spray, nunchucks, blasting caps, dynamite, plastic explosives. . . .
Happy Thanksgiving!