Author Archives: Zay Smith

QT Early Warning System


News Headline: “Fire truck heavily damaged after catching fire.”
News Headline: “Trump proclaims May as National Mental Health Awareness Month.”
The nation’s current irony outbreak, which had moved briefly from Washington D.C. to Upstate New York, has now returned to Washington D.C.
It is expected to remain there until something can be done.

Russian assets in the news


Eric Trump in a newly quoted interview from three years ago about the funding for his father’s golf courses:
“We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia. . . . We just go there all the time.”
But Trump today denied having said that.
And why would he lie?

In other news. . . .


News Headline: “Military is using human brain waves to teach robots how to shoot.”
The military knows well what human brain waves seem best at.

Smart and smarter


News Headline:  “Trump and Putin lose as Emmanuel Macron wins French presidential election.”
The French may feel free to keep looking down their noses at us.
All they want.

How a bill becomes law

News Headline: “5 things to watch as GOP health bill moves to Senate.”
1. Donations.
2, Stipends.
3. Considerations.
4. Remunerations.
5. Payoffs.
See how easy?

Greetings and facilitations from the National Rifle Association


News Headline: “NRA: ‘Expanding background checks at gun shows will not prevent the next shooting.’ ”
News Headline:Islamic State steers jihadists to U.S. gun shows for ‘easy’ access to weapons.”
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

It’s a miracle!


An image of Jesus has been discovered on a utlility pole in Laoag City, Philippines.
“Pinakaimportante ang pagsisimba,”‘ a local priest said. “Dito natin maipapakita ang paniniwala sa Diyos.”
Exactly.

Idle threats in the news


News Headline: “North Korea says any U.S. provocation will lead to America’s
‘final doom.’ ”

Not a concern.
We attended to that six months ago.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language


News Headline:
“FBI’s Comey defends Clinton email decision, but feels ‘nauseous.’ ”
D.S., a Boston reader, writes:
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe the preferred definition of  ‘nauseous’ is ‘to cause nausea.’ And if people are feeling sick, they are ‘nauseated.’ So doesn’t this mean the FBI director’s decision was sickening?”
Yes.
And now we can all go back to the day’s news.
And feel nauseated.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com 

We’ll always have Paris


News Headline: “Paris Hilton reclaims queen of reality TV title from Kim Kardashian.”
Has it been 3,911 days since Paris Hilton announced she was leaving public life?
Not that anyone is counting.