Author Archives: Zay Smith

The scales of justice in the news

+ Michael Alan Krajewski, an Oak Lawn, Ill., reader, regarding a news story about a man arrested for selling fish illegally, for which he was given probation after a court herring in which he decided not to be trout by a jury of his piers, writes:
“Did he post bait before the judge let him off the hook?”
+ K.R., a Baltimore reader, writes:
“His wife was so mad at first she told him to hit the pike, but he showed so much remoras she began to mullet over and forgave him.”
+ S.B., a New York City reader, writes:
“I say put him on death roe.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.


QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

News Headline: “Without evidence, Trump tells lawmakers 3 million to 5 million illegal ballots cost him the popular vote.”
News Headline: “Trump to CIA: ‘Trust me, I’m like a smart person.’ ”
Again without evidence.

The scales of justice in the news

News Headline: “Man handcuffed for selling fish without a license.”
A judge put the man on  probation at a court herrng, as he chose not to be trout by a jury of his piers.
QT will stop now.


The shining locker-room upon a hill

News Headline: “President Trump keeps promise, signs executive order targeting ‘Obamacare.’ ”
Let’s be fair to the Trump administration.
There is always some confusion in the first days..
A kept promise or two was bound to slip through.

This just in. . . .

News Headline:
“What would happen if a ball the size of Texas fell into the ocean?”
Sometimes a reporter just wonders things.

Alternative facts in the news

News Headline: “Women lead unprecedented worldwide mass protests against Trump.”
So we hear from the dishonest press again.
Worldwide mass protests?
Only 30 people showed up in Antarctica.

Presidential portraits in the news

You may recall that
QT some months ago commissioned a painting of Donald Trump.
It was painted  by Tim Hatch, better known as Pricasso, the Australian artist known for painting with his penis.
The painting is displayed here for Inauguration Day.
And this just in from Pricasso to QT:
“I will be painting another in February.”
So we have something to look forward to, after all.

. . . born every minute

News Headline: “Chants of ‘lock her up’ heard at inauguration after Hillary Clinton arrives.”
Note to chanting Donald Trump supporters who still haven’t caught on to the con:
You are Shakespearean in your grandeur.
Or as Shakespeare wrote:
“You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things. . . .”

A few words for Inauguration Day

News Headline: “How the republic ends.”
Then again:
Another visit to the words that Louis L’Amour, writer of frontier novels, once spoke to QT:
“We Americans love to view things with alarm. But if you look back, you see that life was always hard. It was never easy. And we got through it all, and we’ll get through this, too.”
Words worth repeating as time goes by.

The Art of the Dodge

News Headline: “Multiple deferments helped Trump dodge Vietnam.”
News Headline: “Trump in ’97: Avoiding VD while sleeping around similar to serving in Vietnam.”
News Headline: “Trump: I ‘always felt I was in the military’ at military school.”
News Headline: “WATCH: President-elect Trump lays wreath at Arlingon National Cemetery.”
Or sometimes it’s better to avert our eyes.