News Headline: “U.S. spy satellite takes off atop Atlas V for secret mession.”
U.S. intelligence may want to revisit the concept of “secret.”

News Headline:  “ ‘Purge leftists’: Trump supporter Rep. Steve King wants the president to root out those who oppose him.”
Pssst.
Ixnay on the Ussianray ingolay.

On this day in history 180 years ago, Mexican soldiers stormed a mission fort and ended a Texas Revolution siege, showing how well, finally, big walls work, although the lesson is lost on those don’t remember the Alamo.

News Headline: “Trump claims electoral win was ‘biggest since Reagan.’ ”
News Headline: “Trump claims largest inauguration audience in history.”
News Headline: “Trump tweets conspiracy theory about Obama wiretapping him.”
News Headline: “American man believes he’s king of England.”
The stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

News Headline: “Moose sex corridor for endangered populations expands.”
Stay with QT for the latest news and information on moose sex corridors.

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) on a meeting between Attorney General Jeff Sessions and the Russian ambassador during the 2016 presidential campaign:
“Everyone is in high dungeon about the meeting.”
Rich Rzadski, a Chicago reader, notes that it isn’t “dungeon,” which is what Ted Cruz rates being thrown into, but “dudgeon,” which is a state of anger.
And is it time for QT’s annual reminder that that it isn’t “heart-wrenching” and “gut-rending.” but “heart-rending” and “gut-wrenching”?
Almost.
But not quite.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

News Headline: “Top Kremlin diploman calls U.S. uproar over Russia ties a ‘witch hunt.’ ”
News Headline: “Donald Trump: ‘Total witch hunt’ over attorney general.”
QT Abridged Too Far Dictionary of the English Language:
witch hunt noun 1. A search for and subsequent persecution of a supposed witch. 2. a phrase used by politicians as investigations close in [see: охота на ведьм].

News Headline: “Muslims raise $91,000 for vandalized Jewish cemetery.”
News Headline: “Muslim veterans offer to guard Jewish sites across the U.S.”
What will these Muslims try next?

There were 48 earthquakes reported at Yellowstone in February, down from 53 in January, as we continue the search for anything in this country that isn’t in worse shape than it was a month ago.

A study by the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy has found that illegal immigrants pay a higher share of income in taxes than the wealthiest 1 percent of Americans.