Author Archives: Zay Smith

QT trickle-on economics update

Wal-Mart Food Drive
+ The Walton family, heirs to Wal-Mart, have doubled and redoubled their wealth six times in the last 30 years to more than $150 billion.
+ There are food drives again this year for Wal-Mart workers who are hungry.

Everyone needs a hobby

Poison Dart Frog
News Item:
Scientists have discovered a new species of poison dart frog in the Donoso district of Panama. The tiny orange-colored frog, which is as small as a fingernail. . . .”
This follows recent discoveries of tulips with digestive systems, cannibal lemurs, worms with no mouths, fish with penises in their heads, snakes with tentacles and meat-eating sponges.
. . . . as the Intelligent Designer walks slowly away, whistling to himself.

QT trickle-on economics update

Pile of Money
News Headline: “The persistent economic–and political–puzzle: persistently flat wages.”
As a comparison, the wealth of the Walton family, heirs to Wal-Mart, has doubled in the last 30 years.
Wait. OK.
And doubled again.
And doubled again.
And doubled again.
And doubled again.
And doubled again.

You could look it up

QT's Thesaurus
News Item: “. . . Though the survey is not a scientific poll, its findings. . . .”
QT’s Thesaurus of English Words & Phrases & Terms & Expressions & So On:
garbage
noun
rubbish, litter, trash, refuse, waste, sweepings, scraps, debris, swill, offal, flotsam and jetsam, dross, dreck, rot, crap, drivel, not a scientific poll

Try to remember two days in September

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
News Headline:
“We must never forget lessons of 9/11.”
A reminder of another day’s lessons to remember:
The day was two weeks later.
It was  9/25.
It was on that day in Los Angeles that the story was reported of a German surgeon in a Jewish hospital performing a kidney transplant from a white Muslim woman to a black Christian man.
We can do worse than remember the lessons of 9/25, also.

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Declaration of Independcance

On this day in 1776,  the Continental Congress voted for indepe–
Wait. That was July 2.
On this day in 1776, two days after voting for independence, the Continental Congress met for the formal signing of the Decla–
Wait. Only John Hancock, the president of Congress, and Charles Thompson, the secretary, signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4.
The entire Continental Congress didn’t sign it until August 2.
And Thomas McKean of Delaware didn’t sign it until 1781.
Happy Fourth of July!

Sympathy and trust abounding. . . .

Terrorists

News Headline: “House panel approves massive Pentagon spending bill.”
News Headline: “Terrorists team up in Syria to build next generation of bombs.”
No one said the dawning of the Age of Aquarius didn’t need a little tweaking.

Klaatu barada IPO

Robot

News Headline: “Firm names robot to board of directors.”
Won’t work.
A robot has no place on a corporate board.
It  knows only numbers.
It has no moral values, no concern for the needs of society.
Wait. What?
Oh. Right.
Never mind.

Rabbit, run

Easter Bunny
News Headline: “Michigan man accused of fondling Easter Bunny.”
Hippity, hoppity, Easter’s on it’s way.

Work hard, play hard

 

News Headline: “George W. Bush’s paintings are getting their own exhibit.”
As you’ll recall, he did some of his best work into corners.

News Headline: “Arizona Senate: Business owners can cite religion to refuse service to gays.”
R.M.., a Las Vegas reader, writes:
“If a locomotive engineer has a religion that says drinking alcohol is a sin, can he refuse to move a train carrying barley to a malting house that makes malt to be  sold to breweries to make beer?”
Yes.
And then he can go back to peeking into bedrooms.

QT Trickle-On Economics Update:
Qantas, which recently gave its CEO $1 million in bonuses, is preparing a major layoff of workers to cut costs.

Kentucky Democratic senatorial candidate Alison Lundergan Grimes regarding charges that she is an “empty dress”:
“That’s about as accurate as Mitch McConnell being a Chippendale dancer–”
Wait!
Do not let yourself visualize this.
Too late?
Sorry.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Jack Finarelli, a Falls Church, Va., reader, writes:
“You recently informed us that a hamlet is a village without a church. So what is a village without an idiot?”
Hard to say. It varies with Ted Nugent’s travel plans.
An imbecile is smarter than an idiot, but not as smart as a moron, as long as we’re at it.


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