Author Archives: Zay Smith

This just in. . . .

News Headline:
“What would happen if a ball the size of Texas fell into the ocean?”
Sometimes a reporter just wonders things.

Alternative facts in the news

News Headline: “Women lead unprecedented worldwide mass protests against Trump.”
So we hear from the dishonest press again.
Worldwide mass protests?
Only 30 people showed up in Antarctica.

Presidential portraits in the news

You may recall that
QT some months ago commissioned a painting of Donald Trump.
It was painted  by Tim Patch, better known as Pricasso, the Australian artist known for painting with his penis.
The painting is displayed here for Inauguration Day.
And this just in from Pricasso to QT:
“I will be painting another in February.”
So we have something to look forward to, after all.

. . . born every minute

News Headline: “Chants of ‘lock her up’ heard at inauguration after Hillary Clinton arrives.”
Note to chanting Donald Trump supporters who still haven’t caught on to the con:
You are Shakespearean in your grandeur.
Or as Shakespeare wrote:
“You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things. . . .”

A few words for Inauguration Day

News Headline: “How the republic ends.”
Then again:
Another visit to the words that Louis L’Amour, writer of frontier novels, once spoke to QT:
“We Americans love to view things with alarm. But if you look back, you see that life was always hard. It was never easy. And we got through it all, and we’ll get through this, too.”
Words worth repeating as time goes by.

The Art of the Dodge

News Headline: “Multiple deferments helped Trump dodge Vietnam.”
News Headline: “Trump in ’97: Avoiding VD while sleeping around similar to serving in Vietnam.”
News Headline: “Trump: I ‘always felt I was in the military’ at military school.”
News Headline: “WATCH: President-elect Trump lays wreath at Arlingon National Cemetery.”
Or sometimes it’s better to avert our eyes.

On the other hand. . . .

News Headline: “Jindal: GOP must stop being ‘stupid party.’ ”
News Headline: “Bobby Jindal praises Trump’s education pick.”
If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

Modern education + the criminal mind =

A New Zealand woman called the police to report that a drug dealer had refused to give her the drugs she paid for, police said.

A majority of the American electorate and other special victims in the news

News Headline: ‘Law and Order: SVU’ delays Donald Trump-inspired episode.”
The episode finally appeared this week.
It is about a loud billionaire who treats women like playthings. boasts crudely about sexual conquests and [SPOILER ALERT] is charged and convicted in an alleged sexual assault.
This character is not to be confused with any loud billionaire in real life who treats women like playthings. boasts crudely about sexual conquests and [SPOILER ALERT] has yet to be charged or convicted in a number of alleged sexual assaults.
The two are entirely different.

InaugurateMania MMXVII in the news

News Headline: “Trump: ‘I don’t like to lie.’ ”
News Headline: “Trump: ‘I don’t like tweeting.’ ”
No one ever said narcissistic personality disorder was easy.