Author Archives: Zay Smith

Meanwhile, on Capitol Hill. . . .

News Headline:
“Humans in America ‘115,000 years earlier than thought.’ ”
And many still wait for thought to arrive.

Come on in, the looting’s fine

News Headline:Donald Trump orders review of national monuments to open land for drilling and mining.”
Has it been 111 years since President Theodore Roosevelt established our system of national monuments?
When you come right down to it, there is only one real difference between Theodore Roosevelt and Donald Trump.
Pretty much everything.

GovernMania MMXVII

News Headline: “Donald Trump at 100 days: ‘It’s a different kind of presidency.’ ”
News Headline: “Scientists: Time itself may be slowing down.”
No. Just seems that way.

Narcissistic sociopathy in the news

News Headline: “Trump boasts of highest TV ratings ‘since the World Trade Center
came down.’ ”

And don’t all of us remember where we were when Trump’s TV ratings went up?

Unindicted co-conspirators in the news

News Headline: “Senate Trump-Russia probe has no full-time staff, no key witnesses.”
News Headline: “Is the Senate actually going to start investigating Russia, or what?
And we know who.

QT digest of Donald Trump’s responses in a recent Associated Press interview transcript (for your convenience)

“. . . the ultimate (uniintelligible). . . can do that (unintelligible). . .  (unintelligible). . . everything’s so (unintelligible). . . (unintelligible). . . (unintelligible). . . this is (unintelligible). . . (unintelligible). . . (unintelligible). . . going to be a big (unintelligible). . .  the other thing is (unintelligible). . . (unintelligible). . . working on it (unintelligible). . .very successful  (unintelligible). . . just in case (unintelligible). . . (unintelligible). . . (unintelligible). . . .”
As we learn to cherish the moments when he is inaudible.

A new leaf

News Headline: “10 pounds of weed accidentally shipped from Sacramento to Pennsylvania pastor.”
That’s the pastor’s story, and he’s sticking to it.

This just in. . . .

News Headline: “Man sets underwear on fire while passed out in Wal-Mart bathroom.”
And who among us hasn’t had a day like that?

. . . born every minute

News Headline:
“John Cleese: Trump supporters ‘the stupidest people you have
ever met.’ ”
Let’s try to be polite.
Maybe “simplest.”
News Headline: “Poll finds 96 percent of Trump voters say they’d do it again.”
News Headline: “Trump’s first 100 days: Supporters see a plan taking shape.”
Then again. . . .

QT Planetary Defense Coordination Office

Asteroid 2017 HJ passed between Earth and the moon four days ago, a day before it was discovered.
Rest assured that nothing will hit Earth on Earth Day
Best we can tell.
Except for 100 million tons of carbon dioxide from smokestacks and tailpipes.
Give or take.
For starters.