Author Archives: Zay Smith

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

News Headline: “Could astrobiology research convince us to fight climate change?”
But it might persuade us.
Convince to change thinking.
Persuade to take action.
And is it time for QT’s biennial reminder that it is impossible to swoop up or zoom down?
Past time, actually.


In other news. . . .

News Headline: “Jada Pinkett Smith says here vagina feels younger after 3 rejuvenation treatments.”
Kids, go get grandpa and ask him what it was like when our celebrities didn’t give updates on their genitalia.

Looking ahead

News Headline:
“Who is most likely to succeed Donald Trump?”
News Headline: “ABC put a flat-Earther convicted of groping on ‘The Bachelorette.’ ”
Asked and answered.

GovernMania MMXVIII

News Headline: “Trump’s trade war is likely to kill hundreds of thousands of jobs.”
Speak loudly and hit yourself on the head with a big stick.

Breaking news. . . .

News Item:A restaurant in China was forced to shut its doors after an all-you-can-eat promotion backfired and sent the eatery deep into debt. . . .”
This didn’t have to happen.
The owner simply had to announce to his customers:
“That’s all you can eat.”

. . . and a big parade on the moon

News Headline: “Trump orders the creation of a stand-alone Space Force.”
But what finally to call it?
We have the Army, the Navy and, as this is from Donald Trump’s thinking, the Spacey.

Day 514, America held hostage

News Headline: Why is Donald Trump separating thousands of children from their parents?”
When you’re a president, they let you do it.
Grab the Statue of Liberty by the p—-.
You can do anything.

Unindicted co-conspirators in the news

News Item:
“Roger Stone suddenly admits to meeting with a Russian national to seek dirt on Hillary Clinton.”
But thank goodness there was no collusion.

From Poor QT’s Almanack

This is National Accordion Awareness Month.
The third week of National Accordion Awareness Month is National Carpenter Ant Awareness Week.
So some problems take care of themselves.

Russian assets in the news

News Headline: “Trump is irked that he’s not getting more credit.”
Trump should stop his sulking.
The office of special counsel is working as fast as it can.
He’ll be getting plenty of credit soon enough.