From the QT police blotter

Paul Steiner, a Mount Juliet, Tenn., reader, regarding a  news story about an assault committed with a banana and QT’s noting that any defendant would be tried by a jury of his pears, writes:
“Were gang members involved? There may have been a bunch.”
+Bill Hallihan, a Chicago reader, writes:
“Will the defendants be able to orange bail?”
+ Chris Johnson, an Elgin, Ill., reader, writes:
“This is a case that could be overturned on a peel.”
+ Bill Wade, a Chicago reader, writes:
“It may be hard to avoid slip-ups.”
+ Gene Christianson, an Overland Park, Kan., reader writes:
“And who would dole out the punishment?”
+ Dave Carr, an Owen Sound, Ontario, reader, writes:
“I’m sure authorities will get a handle on this, kumquat may.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.
+ Tim Contreras, a San Antonio reader, writes:
“Kiwi please stop this?”
As QT was saying. . . .

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