News Headline: “Recess is not a vacation for Congress.”
But Congress will return to session in six weeks.
And can rest then.
News Headline: “The fabled 16-inch MacBook Pro could launch this October.”
Add fables to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.
News Headline: “Mueller: It’s ‘generally’ fair to say Trump’s answers to inquiry were not always truthful.”
But understatement is alive and well.
News Headline: “Is Trump a blackmail risk?”
News Headline: “How many time will Republicans give Trump a mulligan?”
News Headline: “What will Democrats do now?”
News Headline: “Too little, too late?”
Yes, how high can you count, not enough, almost always.
See how easy?
News Headline: “Trump’s speeches feature mystery men the White House won’t name.”
A reminder that we’ve given the nuclear codes to someone who has imaginary friends.
News Headline: “Study says eating ice cream for breakfast may help improve mental performance.”
This just in from Dave Carr, an Owen Sound, Ontario, reader:
Keep up the good work, researchers!
WRITE TO QT: email@example.com
News Headline: “Republicans have ‘flung open their arms’ for Russia to undermine democracy.”
Let’s not question their patriotism.
News Headline: “GOP blocks election security bills after Mueller testimony.”
Then again. . . .
News Headline: “Mueller testimony: ‘The president was not exculpated.’ ”
Which is one way of putting it.
News Headline: “Mueller: Hell, yes, Trump’s ass could be charged after he leaves office.”
Which is another.
News Headline: “Millennials with diabetes forced to buy black-market insulin to stay alive.”
News Headline: “Leaked emails show drug makers joking about opioid crisis.”
For those keeping track of the magic of the free marketplace.
News Item: “. . . The largest asteroid of the group is taller than the Great Pyramid
of Giza. . . .”
That would be Asteroid 2019 OD, which is passing between Earth and the moon as you read this.
Or think of it as 84 Jennifer Anistons in diameter.
If you are still trying to visualize it.
News Headline: “ ‘Very innocent president’ greets Mueller testimony with unhinged tweetstorm.”
And is pleased he gained yet another day without any news coverage of the rape accusations.