Stratford High School in Houston has named 54 valedictorians.
Dublin Jerome High School in Dublin, Ohio, has named 119 valedictorians.
We can stop now.
The commencements have commenced.
Happy graduation, valedictorians!
And to the scattering of high school seniors who aren’t!
News Headline: “National Spelling Bee crowns eight winners.”
This time each year, QT takes the National Spelling Bee’s final words and submits them to its computer spell-checker.
The final words this year were “auslaut,” “erysipelas,” “bougainvillea,” “aiguillette,” “pendeloque,” “palama” and “cernuous.”
QT’s spell-checker failed all but “erysipelas”and “bougainvillea.”
Never miss a chance to humiliate your computer.
News Headline: “Inhibitory neurons have two types of impact on brain oscillations.”
Don’t they, though?
News Headline: “Donald Trump says Mueller probe full of ‘worst human beings on
He was complaining about them to Kim Jong Un just the other day. . . .
News Headline: “Trump: I had no part in ‘Russia helping me to get elected.’ ’’
News Headline: “The Senate will not vote on any election security bills, GOP senator says.”
Trump says he didn’t pitch in last time?
Note to the Russians:
Won’t happen again.
News Headline: “Last male Sumatran rhino in Malaysia dies.”
For those interested in the most important news story this week that no one is paying attention to.
News Headline: “76 retired U.S. generals and diplomats warn Donald Trump against war with Iran.”
Luckily, Trump knows more than 76 generals and diplomats combined.
How did we ever get so lucky?
News Headline: “McConnell would fill potential Supreme Court vacancy in 2020–reversal of 2016 stance.”
Kids, go get grandpa and ask him what it was like when politicians had enough sense not to announce their corruption in advance.
News Headline: “Mueller: Trump is not not a criminal.”
Note to Congress:
Now is the time to not not do your work.