Monthly Archives: March 2019

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But at least he’s, like, really smart

News Headline: “Donald Trump is glad the U.S. is not being powered by wind ‘because it only blows sometimes.’ ”
In a related development, Trump’s Space Force announced new safety precautions for its plan to land on the sun.
The astronauts will go at night.

Second Amendment solutions in the news

News Headline: “The NRA is trying to block the Violence Against Women Act.”
But don’t think for a moment the National Rifle Association discriminates against women.
It remains deeply committed to violence against all Americans.

In other news. . . .

News Headline: “Nine-year-old boy opens lemonade stand to pay for grandfather’s cancer treatment.”
In other news, Republicans have found their new health-care plan.

A new leaf

News Headline: “Study underlines dangers of edible marijuana.”
So be sure to  smoke your marijuana.
That is you QT Health and Fitness Tip for today.

Day 797, America held hostage

News Headline: “McConnell again blocks resolution calling for release of Mueller report.”
In a related development, McConnell’s soul is no longer listed on eBay.

Hey! Hey!

Ode on an Opening Day

That’s a fly ball
Deep to right.
Back. . . back. . . .
Hey! Hey!

The poet was the late Jack Brickhouse.
And there is nothing more to say.

This just in. . . .

News Headline: “Cheetahs in southern Africa are closer to extinction than thought.”
So there is something these days, after all, that is closer to extinction than thought.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

News Headline:
Rejuvenated Trump pushes aggressive agenda.”
News Headline: “No, the Yellowstone supervolcano is not overdue for an eruption.”
Supervolcanoes are never around when you need them.

Frontiers of science

News Headline: “Lack of discoveries is damaging prospects for next big particle collider.”
If subatomic particles could laugh. . . .

Watching over us

A minister in Plover, Wis., regarding a Bible that has survived two church fires:
“Truly a work of God.”
There was no comment on Whose work the two church fires were.