+ Bill Scott, an East Northport, N.Y., reader, regarding QT’s warning that Christmas pudding should be stirred clockwise with a wooden spoon, writes:
“Does this mean that you stir Christmas pudding counterclockwise, or anticlockwise, south of the equator?”
+ C.C., a New York City reader, meanwhile, hopes to remind us that there is no such thing as a Christmas poinsetta.
There are only Christmas poinsettias.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
WRITE TO QT: qt@zaysmith.com
From the QT news ticker
News Headline: “Is Trump compromised by Saudi money?”
News Headline: “Will Trump divide and conquer?”
News Headline: “Are quantum fields real?”
News Headline: “Are the Dems running scared?”
Yes, no, yes and no, always.
See how easy?
28 days until Christmas
News Headline: “10 holiday songs we absolutely cannot stand.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!
When no cages are handy
News Headline: “Trump defends tear gas: ‘It’s very safe.’ ”
Exactly.
It’s so safe it can be used even on terrified refugee children.
So why is anyone complaining?
Day 675, America held hostage
News Headline: “Trump’s ignorance is amazing.”
News Headline: “Trump’s ignorance still shocks us.”
Almost. . . almost. . . .
News Headline: “Trump’s criticism of bin Laden raid represents ‘complete ignorance.’ ”
There.
He has achieved perfection.
QT Latest Carjacker Who Didn’t Know How to Work a
Stick Shift Worldwide Pinpoint Locator
10:30 p.m. Tuesday, November 20, along Jet Wing Drive in Colorado Springs, Colo.
It’s called teamwork, right?
News Headline: “A Saudi prince helped save Trump from bankruptcy–twice.”
But at least there’s no collusion.
’Tis the season
Can it be time for QT’s Christmas Reminders of the Season?
Evidently.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
To review:
+ The reindeer’s name isn’t Donner, but Donder.
+ It isn’t Kris Kringle, but Kriss Kringle.
+ It isn’t “God rest ye, merry gentlemen,” but “God rest ye merry, gentlemen.”
+ It isn’t “It came upon a midnight clear,” but “It came upon the midnight clear.”
+ It isn’t “toll the ancient Yuletide carol,” but “troll the ancient Yuletide carol.”
+ The poem isn’t “The Night Before Christmas,” but “A Visit from St. Nicholas.”
And one more:
Christmas pudding should be stirred clockwise.
And with a wooden spoon.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
And one more thing. . . .
Happy (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) Thanksgiving!
From the QT Archive of Knowledge
+ Women were not invited to the first Thanksgiving.
+ A group of turkeys is a gang of turkeys.
Happy Thanksgiving!