Monthly Archives: November 2018

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25 days until Christmas


News Headline:
“NJ town threatens to shut down Christmas light display.”
News Headline: “Your Christmas tree could be home to up to 25,000 insects.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!

Enough is enough


News Headline:
They all lied. They’re all guilty.”
Sometimes a headline writer just has to take matters into his own hands.

And here comes the bride. . . .


News Headline: “Sheriff: Wedding photographer had sex with guest, urinated on tree.”
It’s the little things that go wrong at a wedding that often provide our most treasured memories.

From the QT police blotter


News Headline: “Ivanka Trump says ‘Lock her up’ doesn’t apply to her.”
That’s what they all say.
Lock her up.

Flocked again


News Headline: “Insecure men with ‘fragile masculinity’ are more likely to support Trump, study says.”
Some might be tempted to say this is a case of birds with smallish feathers flocking together.
But not QT.

26 days until Christmas


News Headline: “Santa replaced over sexist remarks.”
News Headline: “Christmas decorating dangers.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!

The days of the weak


News Headline: “Does Russia have leverage over Donald Trump?”
Nonsense.
Trump isn’t about to let the Russians push him around.
It’s the Saudis these days.
News Headline: “Trump refuses to condemn Russian aggression against Ukraine.”
OK. So now it’s Russia’s turn again.

27 days until Christmas


+ Jim Kehoe, a Sydney, Australia reader, regarding QT’s warning that Christmas pudding should be stirred clockwise, which caused another reader to wonder if the pudding should be stirred counterclockwise when south of the equator, writes:

“I have consulted an Australian expert and fellow reader, Ms. Jude Allen, who is a lifelong resident of Sydney.  She tells me that she stirs everything in a clockwise direction, so far with no ill effect.”
+ John Teets, a Key West, Fla., reader, regarding QT’s pointing out that there are no Christmas poinsettas, only Christmas poinsettias, writes:
“And as with bougainvilleas, the showy parts of poinsettias are bracts, not flowers.”
And can it be time for QT’s Christmas reminder that the most dangerous occupation in Sweden is herding reindeer?
Ho, Ho, Ho!

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

Call them, Ishmael


News Item: “. . . said Sadie Wright, acting large whale entanglement response coordinator for. . . .”
You may be having a tough day at work, but at least you’re not an acting large whale entanglement response coordinator.
News Item: President Trump’s personal aide and ‘body man’  plans to leave the White House in the coming weeks. . . .”
And at least you’re not Donald Trump’s “body man.”

High crimes and misdemeanors in the news


News Headline:
“The near-certain guilt of President Trump.”
News Headline: “The truth is finally catching up with Donald Trump.”
This may not end well for him.
But there is one accomplishment no one can take away.
He raked the swamp.