Monthly Archives: August 2018

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From the QT police blotter

News Headline: “Man arrested with 800 pounds of stolen lemons.”
Police are seeking persimmons of interest.


QT Planetary Defense Coordination Office

Asteroid 2018 QR1 was discovered today–nine days after it passed between Earth and the moon.
We missed it at the time because of the direction it came from. Something about the sun getting in our eyes.
But look on the bright side, so to speak.
If it had traveled only 55,000 miles to one side, we would have discovered it instantly.

But at least he’s, like, really smart

News Headline:
“White House counsel Don McGahn will leave post in the fall.”
It may be that McGahn tired of seeing Donald Trump spell the title as “council.”
And “councel.”
Neither of which was an “unpresidented act,” as Trump has put it.
And there is always the day he “hear by” demanded an investigation.
Which he later saw was wrong and corrected to “hearby.”
After which he turned to his payoff to Stormy Daniels to hush their affair.
He wanted everyone to know that his campaign “played no roll in this transaction.”
So Trump has not been deterred:
“I am honered to serve you, the great American People, as your 45th President of the United States!”

Keeping in mind that truth isn’t truth

News Headline:
“Trump: ‘Coal is coming back big, big, big.’ ”
News Headline: “Coal miner to Trump: ‘Coal mining isn’t coming back.’ ”
Those coal miners sure lie a lot.

GovernMania MMXVIII

News Headline:
“Trump says he gets his legal advice from watching TV.”
After all these years, is Benny Hill still in reruns?

In other news. . . .

News Headline:
“White House ‘taking a look’ at regulating Google.”
Regulating the public’s Internet searches is an excellent idea.
China swears by it.

The criminal element in the news

News Headline:
“Donald Trump Jr. calls Watergate reporter a ‘leftist hack’ for Trump Tower meeting story.”
You’d be touchy, too, if you were about to be indicted.

Day 585, America held hostage

News Headline:
“4-star general warns: Trump behavior becoming ‘more alarming and illogical.’ ”
Will the world ever forgive us for being so carefree with our nuclear codes?

From the QT news ticker

News Headline:
“Should Hillary Clinton run for president in 2020?”
News Headline: “Is the Senate up for grabs yet?”
News Headline: “Do the facts matter any more?”
News Headline: “Does the GOP have a racist cut-off point?”
News Headline: “Did Trump color a flag wrong during photo-op with Ohio kids?”
No, no, now and then, evidently not, of course he did.
See how easy?

John McCain (1936-2018)

News Headline:
“Trump rejected plans for a White House statement praising McCain.”
News Headline: “Donald Trump doesn’t have the standing to lick John McCain’s boots’ : Republican strategist Rick Wilson.”
The many tributes to McCain this week are heartfelt.
But some are overstated.
Donald Trump has exactly the standing to lick John McCain’s boots.