News Headline: “Why is Donald Trump separating thousands of children from their parents?”
When you’re a president, they let you do it.
Grab the Statue of Liberty by the p—-.
You can do anything.
News Item: “Roger Stone suddenly admits to meeting with a Russian national to seek dirt on Hillary Clinton.”
But thank goodness there was no collusion.
News Headline: “Trump is irked that he’s not getting more credit.”
Trump should stop his sulking.
The office of special counsel is working as fast as it can.
He’ll be getting plenty of credit soon enough.
News Headline: “No food left behind.”
News Headline: “No goat left behind.”
News Headline: “No headstone left behind.”
Does this suggest anything our headline writers might want to leave leave behind?
News Headline: “Trump says he wants to be like Kim Jong Un and have people ‘sit up at attention’ when he speaks.”
He later said he was ‘kidding.”
In other news, Asteroid 2018 LV3 is passing between Earth and the moon as you read this.
It will not hit Earth.
Asteroids are not merciful.
News Headline: “Two Norwegian lawmakers nominate Trump for Nobel Peace Prize.”
News Headline: “Should Dennis Rodman get the Nobel Peace Prize?”
T.D., a Chicago reader, says we can add Nobel Peace Prizes to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.
WRITE TO QT: firstname.lastname@example.org
The Welsh town of Chepstow has celebrated declaring itself plastic-free by hanging a large plastic banner at a town entrance.
Today’s Birthdays: “The Gong Show,” 42; Donald Trump, 72.