News Headline: “Company wants to put a billboard on the moon by 2020.”
News Headline: “Send your tweets into space.”
. . . as the Intergalactic Planetary Federation decides in emergency session that the termination of Earth can be put off no longer.
News Headline: “Trump’s short list for Supreme Court.”
Here’s what to do.
Show him a grocery list.
He won’t know the difference.
Then we can end up with a head of lettuce on the Supreme Court.
And the country will be better off.
News Item: “A shirtless man in only boxer briefs and white sneakers scaled a highway sign. . . began dancing. . . vaped. . . shouted that he loved God. . . .”
As reasonable a response as any to the news of the day.
News Headline: “A Trump trade war will hit red states hard.”
News Headline: “Trump’s food-stamp cuts would hit his voters hard.”
H.L. Mencken wrote:
“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.”
Mencken predicted, also, that someday the White House would be “adorned by a downright moron.”
We can see now the man was an alarmist.
News Headline: “Trump: ‘Russia continues to say they had nothing to do with’ U.S. election meddling.”
And if Donald Trump can’t believe his own collaborators, who can he believe?
News Headline: “North Korea upgrades nuclear facitilities despite Trump-Kim deal, satellite images show.”
News Headline: “Trump thinks he’ll get a deal with China.”
And China can hardly wait.
News Headline: “Donald Trump made 103 false claims last week, shattering his dishonesty record.”
News Headline: “Trump claims ‘a lot of progress’ in the Middle East.”
And seems off to a promising start this week.
News Headline: “Trump says travel ban ruling ‘tremendous.’ ”
The original meaning of “tremendous” is “awful, dreadful, terrible,” from the Latin tremendus: “fearful, terrible.”
So Donald Trump can get it right now and then.
News Headline: “First layoffs from Trump’s tariff’s are here.”
News Headline: “Trump’s tariffs are forcing Harley-Davidson to move jobs overseas.”
Do you think Donald Trump could take a moment and share more of his insights into the art of making deals?
Or maybe he’s too modest.
New rules to avoid sexual harassment at Netflix forbid any employee from looking at any other employee for more than five seconds.