Monthly Archives: January 2018

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Wash, rinse, spin. . . .

News Headline:
“Haitian government claims ousted dictator ‘Baby Doc’ Duvalier laundered stolen money through Trump Tower.”
Trump Tower?
That s–thole?

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Beware the ides of National Polka Music Month.

Limitations of statues. . . .

News Headline: “Trump attacks protections for immigrants from ‘s–thole’ countries.”
When you’re a president, they let you do it.
You can do anything.
Grab the Statue of Liberty by the–

QT college football on-again, off-again, off-season update

News Headline:
“Alabama’s Bo Scarbrough screams ‘F— Trump’ before championship game.”
The player now denies it.
But we may finally have an alternative to all the kneeling before football games.
Think about it.
We could have players scream the words as each game time approaches.
And who needs a game?
We can start screaming it in the streets.

Upstairs, downstairs

News Headline: “Trump’s tax ‘gift’ to middle class.”
When you see the words “middle class” in a news report about the Republicans, substitute “servant class.”
It gives a better sense of the story.

Day 355, America held hostage

News Headline:
“Trump administration waives punishment for convicted banks, including Deutsche–to which Trump owes millions.”
The system works.

Frontiers of science

News Headline:
“It’s so hot in Australia that bats’ brains are frying.”
Scientists were able to determine this when the bats came out in favor of Donald Trump’s border wall.

From the QT Archive of Knowledge

+ Male honeybees explode after mating.
+ Rush Limbaugh’s bathroom has a bidet.

QT College Football Playoff System

News Headline:
“Alabama beats Georgia in OT for national title.”
Not so fast there.
During the 2017 college football season:
Northwestern beat Iowa.
Iowa beat Ohio State.
Ohio State beat USC.
USC beat Stanford.
Stanford beat Notre Dame.
Notre Dame beat LSU.
LSU beat Auburn.
Auburn beat Alabama.
Hail Northwestern!
National College Football Champions!

QT Planetary Defense Coordination Office

The first asteroid of the year to pass between Earth and the moon was discovered late last week.
But at worst, if it had hit, Asteroid 2018 AH would have caused a crater only three miles across.
Give or take.
Happy New Year!